Sort of depressed

Some of it for no real reason, some of it because i'm in a lot of endo pain, some of it for good reason. So we'll skip the first two and move on to the real reason.

i think the reflux is still causing D a lot of problems, only now it's earlier in the day when she doesn't have as much medication in her system. Which is also the time in the day when she's at daycare and there's nothing significant that i can do about it. Aaaaaaah!

For a while there, D had been eating 15 oz of formula at daycare. Which is about 45% of her daily formula intake, so not too bad. She eats disproportionately more in the evenings with me, but i think that's because i just sit with her and work through the back arching and the grunting and the pushing of the bottle out of her mouth with her hands. Alan probably doesn't have time in the mornings and daycare doesn't know how.

Okay, so 15 oz at daycare is good. But the last week or so, she's been eating more like 10-12 oz of formula at daycare. Not as good, because i've noticed if she doesn't get enough food in her during the day, she'll add a night feeding by waking up. She wakes up once a night every night, which we can handle, but it's more difficult if she's waking 2-3 times a night. So i try to keep her up later to finish those last few ounces, which isn't always so great, to say the least. (As an aside, she is currently fast asleep in her jumperoo, where i put her to KEEP HER AWAKE lol).

So, again, 15 oz at daycare is good. 10-12 is not so good, but has been happening lately. Today, she ate 5. Five whole whopping stinking ounces in a 7.5 hour period. i seriously want to cry, because i know that means more night wakings. And i tried to keep her awake, but as you can tell from my previous comment, that didn't work so well.

i really don't know what to do. Daycare can't add cereal to her bottle legally (state law), which is what i do when it's bad at night. Pedi thinks it will get better as she eats more solids, but she hates cereal with a spoon. Weird, since she gets tons of it in bottles. i started cheating and tried fruits and veggies mixed in, which i REALLY didn't want to do until she was AT LEAST 5 months, preferably 6 months. But again, i don't know what to do! This is the stuff that makes parenting hard! These little decisions that seem so big. Anyway, she doesn't like bananas, she doesn't like avocado. She likes squash. Yeah, squash. Little weirdo lol. So i mix squash in with formula and cereal and she'll eat like 6 or 8 bites, which isn't so bad but really isn't going to do a lot of good just yet.

So, the only thing i know to try is to have daycare feed her some solids also. Which means mixing it up the night before with the bottles. And i'll call the pedi tomorrow to see what she suggests. i thought the Prevacid had been working so well, and it has, but apparently only at night.

That, hormones, and pain ad up to a tearful fred. Who dreads waking a million times tonight. And who really wonders how long a baby can sleep slumped over a jumperoo. But then, i've fallen asleep at punk rock concerts, so who am i to judge?