This is the second time she's ever had sugar! (The first was during TERRIBLE teething and she ate a Flav-Or-Ice).
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Happy Hallowe'en!
This is the second time she's ever had sugar! (The first was during TERRIBLE teething and she ate a Flav-Or-Ice).
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Life's Lessons
i thought i learned my lesson about having "control" when i lost my job a few years ago when the economy tanked. And i for sure thought i learned my lesson when we had trouble trying to conceive, and were told we needed the help of a lab to conceive. And then again when we waited a year to be approved to foster/adopt. And then again when our first placement went home. And yet again when Charlotte came home addicted to everything under the sun and it seemed like nothing i did could soothe her little body or soul. And the first time she got sick...
Are you sensing a trend yet? Because i'm learning my lesson again. i never did have control, and as long as i'm a parent, i never will again. i'm writing this as i'm steeling myself to call the director of Charlotte's school again. i'm pretty sure i know what she's going to say, and it's pretty much equivalent to losing my job. i'm pretty sure that if Charlotte isn't losing her spot at this school, she will very soon.
It's so very hard because we're doing absolutely EVERYTHING we know how to do. The only advice we're not taking is harsh advice like "bite her back". And at this point, if i thought it would actually work, i'd probably actually try it, but i know it won't work. It will just teach her that 1) mommy can't be trusted, and 2) mommy bites so it must be okay.
Today we had our first OT session, and i thought it went really well. We learned some good at-home activities to do, and some things we can ask the school to do (if they will, of course), to help. But none of that positive seems to mean much in the face of this upcoming phone call.
i just needed to whine a bit. Thanks for reading (if anyone still reads this blog).
Are you sensing a trend yet? Because i'm learning my lesson again. i never did have control, and as long as i'm a parent, i never will again. i'm writing this as i'm steeling myself to call the director of Charlotte's school again. i'm pretty sure i know what she's going to say, and it's pretty much equivalent to losing my job. i'm pretty sure that if Charlotte isn't losing her spot at this school, she will very soon.
It's so very hard because we're doing absolutely EVERYTHING we know how to do. The only advice we're not taking is harsh advice like "bite her back". And at this point, if i thought it would actually work, i'd probably actually try it, but i know it won't work. It will just teach her that 1) mommy can't be trusted, and 2) mommy bites so it must be okay.
Today we had our first OT session, and i thought it went really well. We learned some good at-home activities to do, and some things we can ask the school to do (if they will, of course), to help. But none of that positive seems to mean much in the face of this upcoming phone call.
i just needed to whine a bit. Thanks for reading (if anyone still reads this blog).
Thursday, October 14, 2010
3 word "sentence"!
About 2 months before most kids put 2 words together, Charlotte put 3 together today!
i'm in a baby carrier exchange, and a package came today with a ring sling and a mei tai. i opened it when i got home, and Charlotte saw the mei tai, pushed it toward me, and said, "Up please, outside".
She's so freaking smart!
i'm in a baby carrier exchange, and a package came today with a ring sling and a mei tai. i opened it when i got home, and Charlotte saw the mei tai, pushed it toward me, and said, "Up please, outside".
She's so freaking smart!
The appointment :)
We had Charlotte assessed for Sensory Processing Disorder by an Occupational Therapist today. i'll skip to the bottom line first: She definitely shows sensory issues, but because she's exceeding her milestones and it doesn't make it dfficult/impossible to function daily, she probably wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis of SPD. So, pretty much good news.
If you know anything about the senses, this will make more sense to you lol. Charlotte is sensory-seeking for Vestibular and Proprioceptive activities. Vestibular Sense is your sense of motion; if your Vestibular Sense is underactive, you're a "seeker", and you're always in motion and always seeking fast movements, swinging, rocking, etc. This is my Char. She also has an underactive Proprioceptive Sense, which is a little harder to explain but it's basically your sense of your own position in the world around you. Proprioceptive "seekers" like Charlotte love to climb to high places, bump into things a lot, don't feel pain as intenty, etc. Again, Charlotte to a T.
One thing i found interesting is that the OT said that biting provides proprioceptive input. This is kind of surprising to me. i actually would have thought it to be tactile; either oral stimulation or maybe taste. So this could be pretty helpful!
Her recommendation is going to be to give Char 2-3 OT sessions and help us get set up to do therapy at home to provide her with the vestibular and proprioceptive input she needs. Of course we already give her lots of outlets,spending tons of time outside, going to playgrounds, etc, but this will be more specific exercises to give her the input and also to do exercises that will help "order" those senses. Yay!
One thing i'm not sure how i feel about honestly is the recommendation that when she bites or tries to bite, to give her her chewy toy and tell her not to bite people but to bite the toy, then praise her when she chews the toy. It kind of feels like rewarding the bad behavior. i don't like to be punitive necessarily, but it still feels off. But if it helps...
If you know anything about the senses, this will make more sense to you lol. Charlotte is sensory-seeking for Vestibular and Proprioceptive activities. Vestibular Sense is your sense of motion; if your Vestibular Sense is underactive, you're a "seeker", and you're always in motion and always seeking fast movements, swinging, rocking, etc. This is my Char. She also has an underactive Proprioceptive Sense, which is a little harder to explain but it's basically your sense of your own position in the world around you. Proprioceptive "seekers" like Charlotte love to climb to high places, bump into things a lot, don't feel pain as intenty, etc. Again, Charlotte to a T.
One thing i found interesting is that the OT said that biting provides proprioceptive input. This is kind of surprising to me. i actually would have thought it to be tactile; either oral stimulation or maybe taste. So this could be pretty helpful!
Her recommendation is going to be to give Char 2-3 OT sessions and help us get set up to do therapy at home to provide her with the vestibular and proprioceptive input she needs. Of course we already give her lots of outlets,spending tons of time outside, going to playgrounds, etc, but this will be more specific exercises to give her the input and also to do exercises that will help "order" those senses. Yay!
One thing i'm not sure how i feel about honestly is the recommendation that when she bites or tries to bite, to give her her chewy toy and tell her not to bite people but to bite the toy, then praise her when she chews the toy. It kind of feels like rewarding the bad behavior. i don't like to be punitive necessarily, but it still feels off. But if it helps...
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The night before the appointment
The night before the appointment finds me anxious. On the one hand, what if my sweet, precious, precocious girl has SPD? i know it doesn't actually change anything. She'll be the same girl no matter what, we'll just know more about her. Still... it changes things. It puts a name to something. It invites judgment from those who don't "believe in" this particular condition. i've heard of it referred to as "the new ADHD" and "autism light". Some people will say she just needs a good spanking. Others will criticize when i push her to her limits and maybe they feel like i'm being too hard on her. (And sometimes i will be, because i WILL screw up, but i'll be doing the best i can and what i think she needs at the time.)
And on the other hand, what if she doesn't have SPD? What if there's no "explanation" (have you noticed i'm quotation mark heavy tonight. Sorry...) and she's just a difficult child, maybe even a bully. Now, i don't think for a second that even if she IS a bully at 16 months, it doesn't mean she will be in a month or a year or ten years. Still, it's a blow to my parenting confidence, you know. And it brings up again the very real possibility that we'll be asked to pull Char from her school, and i can't tell you how much we love her school. She is doing SO well there, and i adore the Montessori principles, and they do a good job with them there. Plus what will it really accomplish? i mean, sure, it helps the school some and protects the other kids from her, but it doesn't help Char or the underlying problems at all. i fear it would turn into playing musical daycares, staying somewhere until they can't deal with the biting and she gets kicked out again. There were seriously only 2 daycares/preschools that we really liked that were within reasonable driving distance of our home/work. And while the other is nice, i don't think Charlotte would THRIVE there the way she does at her current school.
And on the third hand (i must be some sort of space-alien creature here), what if she is misdiagnosed with it, or the opposite and she's not diagnosed when she really has it? And because of this third hand and the niggling doubt, will we/i ever really feel confident in the diagnosis or lack thereof?
And lastly, how does my husband feel about all this? Sometimes i feel like i'm driving the train and he's along for the ride. Don't misunderstand; he's the BEST daddy in the world! But he usually sits back and lets me lead on the parenting, and (being the overanalytical space alien i am) i worry what he's really thinking about it. i hope he's okay and that tomorrow is satsfying for both of us. Well, all 3 really.
And on the other hand, what if she doesn't have SPD? What if there's no "explanation" (have you noticed i'm quotation mark heavy tonight. Sorry...) and she's just a difficult child, maybe even a bully. Now, i don't think for a second that even if she IS a bully at 16 months, it doesn't mean she will be in a month or a year or ten years. Still, it's a blow to my parenting confidence, you know. And it brings up again the very real possibility that we'll be asked to pull Char from her school, and i can't tell you how much we love her school. She is doing SO well there, and i adore the Montessori principles, and they do a good job with them there. Plus what will it really accomplish? i mean, sure, it helps the school some and protects the other kids from her, but it doesn't help Char or the underlying problems at all. i fear it would turn into playing musical daycares, staying somewhere until they can't deal with the biting and she gets kicked out again. There were seriously only 2 daycares/preschools that we really liked that were within reasonable driving distance of our home/work. And while the other is nice, i don't think Charlotte would THRIVE there the way she does at her current school.
And on the third hand (i must be some sort of space-alien creature here), what if she is misdiagnosed with it, or the opposite and she's not diagnosed when she really has it? And because of this third hand and the niggling doubt, will we/i ever really feel confident in the diagnosis or lack thereof?
And lastly, how does my husband feel about all this? Sometimes i feel like i'm driving the train and he's along for the ride. Don't misunderstand; he's the BEST daddy in the world! But he usually sits back and lets me lead on the parenting, and (being the overanalytical space alien i am) i worry what he's really thinking about it. i hope he's okay and that tomorrow is satsfying for both of us. Well, all 3 really.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Speeding Up a Freight Train
That's what it feels like, anyway. i spent hours yesterday and last night trying to find ways not to wait 3-6 months for a diagnostic appointment. Today, i found it!
i may have mentioned before that i have a friend whose wonderful 3 year old son has William's Syndrome, which is a condition caused by a spontaneous gene mutation that causes physical and mental delays developmentally, as well as other conditions like heart disease. i know that he gets Occupational Therapy for WS, so i found out through Alan who his provider is. It's a small non-profit close to my job. They take Char's insurance, and we have an appointment for diagnostic testing for SPD this Thursday!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Crap crap crap
Well, i've been pretty silent lately for lack of news. The pediatrician sent a referral to Vanderbilt's Developmental Pediatrics department (i don't think it's called exactly that, sorry), which diagnoses SPD as well as ADHD and autism spectrum disorders. Unfortunately i found out today that the wait list is 3-6 months, including last-minute cancellation possibilities. i'm seeking out other diagnostic options, including OT (Occupational Therapy) practitioners and early intervention.
Char bit again today. She'd actually had a few good days last week, starting the previous Friday and then through Wednesday. Unfortunately the streak ended on Thursday afternoon after a very fun but exhausting field trip to the pumpkin patch. i can't say i'm surprised; if it would happen any day, it would be that day since all the kids were overstimulated and most slept in the cars on the way home and didn't sleep at all at their normal nap time. Char had a hard time with the structure of the field trip, too, wanting to do things that were "off limits", so it wasn't a great start to her day.
i don't think she bit on Friday (actually she was bitten because she put her hand in another child's mouth - der) but she bit the same child from Thursday today. And that child still had bite marks/bruises from Thursday today. And that child's parents are understandably very concerned; reading between the lines it seems that they may have threatened to pull their child from the school.
So the school called today and wants us to take a break from the school for a while. Which is really not feasible; a day off from school means at least one of us has to take 1/2 day off work. We both have about 2 vacation days (Alan's are to last the year but i'll get a couple more on Nov 1 and Dec 1) and the school has an in-service day next Monday, plus Wed-Fri on Thanksgiving week, plus 2 whole weeks at Christmas (one of which i am off but not the other). We've actually been trying to figure out how to handle the Christmas break as is.
So, we're going to go to 1/2 days at school for a while, with Alan keeping her in the mornings and then afternoons at school. We're hoping it's not for long because that's the time that Alan does housework and errands, but of course that's a minor concern comparatively. The hope is that a break from school helps break the behavior, but honestly i'm skeptical. i'm willing to do whatever needs to be done, though. So far, this is what we do/have done:
Char bit again today. She'd actually had a few good days last week, starting the previous Friday and then through Wednesday. Unfortunately the streak ended on Thursday afternoon after a very fun but exhausting field trip to the pumpkin patch. i can't say i'm surprised; if it would happen any day, it would be that day since all the kids were overstimulated and most slept in the cars on the way home and didn't sleep at all at their normal nap time. Char had a hard time with the structure of the field trip, too, wanting to do things that were "off limits", so it wasn't a great start to her day.
i don't think she bit on Friday (actually she was bitten because she put her hand in another child's mouth - der) but she bit the same child from Thursday today. And that child still had bite marks/bruises from Thursday today. And that child's parents are understandably very concerned; reading between the lines it seems that they may have threatened to pull their child from the school.
So the school called today and wants us to take a break from the school for a while. Which is really not feasible; a day off from school means at least one of us has to take 1/2 day off work. We both have about 2 vacation days (Alan's are to last the year but i'll get a couple more on Nov 1 and Dec 1) and the school has an in-service day next Monday, plus Wed-Fri on Thanksgiving week, plus 2 whole weeks at Christmas (one of which i am off but not the other). We've actually been trying to figure out how to handle the Christmas break as is.
So, we're going to go to 1/2 days at school for a while, with Alan keeping her in the mornings and then afternoons at school. We're hoping it's not for long because that's the time that Alan does housework and errands, but of course that's a minor concern comparatively. The hope is that a break from school helps break the behavior, but honestly i'm skeptical. i'm willing to do whatever needs to be done, though. So far, this is what we do/have done:
- Read the book "Teeth Are Not For Biting" twice a day
- Medicate her with Ibuprofen and send Tylenol to school
- Teething necklace
- Send alternative "biters", including a vibrating teether and a little plush toy she can bite
- Role play, play act with toys, and fairy tales about biting and talk about alternatives to biting
- The rare occasions she bites at home, we react consistently with time-outs and time-ins
- Talk to the pedi about SPD and get a referral
Any other suggestions? i'm out of ideas :(.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)