On the topic of potty learning

So this week has been "naked baby week". It started Monday afternoon after her 18-month pediatrician appointment. Her pedi gave us the go-ahead, so we went for it. She had one accident Monday afternoon, one Tuesday afternoon, zero Wednesday, and one this morning already, but really i think that's pretty good considering she pees every 45 minutes and poops 2-3 times a day.

Tuesday we even drove 20-30 minutes away, went shopping at Target and then JC Penney, and grabbed lunch at NYNY Pizza. In Target she started saying "potty". She got urgent in JC Penney so i took her to the "family restroom", where i stayed for a solid 45 minutes. Poor thing WANTED to go but couldn't quite get comfortable enough. Thankfully i had tucked the donut toilet ring into the diaper bag. Weird or not, it was necessary! We ended up leaving and getting lunch, and we each made 2-3 trips to the bathroom before she finally peed. Yay!

Similarly, Char and i drove 45 minutes to visit my dad yesterday. She started saying "potty" about 10 minutes from his house. i brought her little toilet as well as the donut ring and she used each there. To say my dad was impressed would be a major undestatement!

Right now our tactic is to let her be naked at home (dress and legwarmers but no diaper or underwear) and wear training underwear when we go out in public or outside to play. This week so far that strategy has worked great! She still wears a diaper at night and for naptime but i think naptime may be unnecessary, but bedtime is necessary.

My hope is she'll stop having accidents or only rare ones by the weekend so that next week the nanny can continue this path until she's 100% bulletproof in a few weeks hopefully. She's not rebelling or upset at all, so far anywa, so that's awesome. If things continue, well, i'm thrilled!

Oh, and yesterday aftrnoon i did diaper laundry. i had done laundry Sunday so this was right about 3 full days' worth of diapers. There were 3 bedtime/nap diapers and 5 daytime diapers (which were probably all Sunday/Monday before we started the naked baby thing.

And a cute-ism... It's so adorable when she takes a doll or stuffed animal over to the potty chair and says "Ssssssss". OK, so it's the kind of cute a mom would recognize, but it's still cute!

Tickle Tickle Tickle

Cloth Diaper Snap Conversion Tutorial

As you may know, we've been using cloth for about 3-4 months now, and i adore it. i really prefer the natural fiber all-in-ones, as they allow Char to feel wet, which should facilitate potty learning (more on that soon). She's not a real heavy wetter, thank goodness, so AIO's are fine for us.

My favorite diaper for ease of use and how they feel (after a quick spin in the dryer on low for fluffy factor) are Bamboo Babies. However, they're also my very least favorite diaper because they have the worst worst worst velcro/aplix ever. i got one new and one used and within 2 months i couldn't tell the difference (and the used one was WELL used). Maybe this picture will show what i mean:

See how "fuzzy" it is? And see how the lime green PUL is also somewhat "fuzzy"? That's because the laundry tabs are terrible and it just picks at the PUL. And since the PUL is what makes the diaper waterproof, this is not good. Plus it's a PITA to pick apart a laundry chain every time i do laundry.

So, i asked for a KAM snap pliers kit for Christmas, and Santa delivered! i already "snappified" one of my Bamboo Babies diapers and decided to do a tutorial if anyone is interested. We'll start with the snaps:

The top and third rows are the caps. They are actually kind of sharp so watch out! The second row is the male part and the bottom is the female part. When finished, the male will snap into the female and each will have a cap. i'm using orange to provide a good contrast with the green diapers and the white rise snaps, and because white is more in demand ;). i don't plan to sell this diaper so no problem for me.

Here's the rest of what you need:

The pliers, the snaps of course (though you'll need many more), and the pointy awl tool that came with the pliers. Here's a close-up of the pliers. Can you see how one of the sides has a hole in the middle? This is for the pointy part of the snap cap, so make sure either the male or female is nestled in this side so the point of the cap will poke through into this hole. Otherwise, it's virtually fool-proof.

The VERY first step will be to remove all of the velcro or aplix from your diaper. Use a seam-ripper, but be sure to remove the threads individually to prevent pulling or tearing the PUL. You'll need to remove the tacky aplix from the wings and the soft aplix from the front of the diaper.

Most aplix diapers have a laundry tab so that you can fold down the wings and attach the velcro and *in theory* not have to worry about the velcro picking the fabric or creating laundry chains. some laundry tabs are better than others and the Bamboo Babies SUCK. But, they're not hurting anyone so my choice is to leave them there, but you can just as easily remove them. Removing the velcro actually takes longer than putting the snaps in!

To get started, mark the center of your diaper (i tried a quilter's white pencil but it didn't mark so i marked VERY lightly with a regular pencil, which will wash off). Then mark the horizontal line on the front of the diaper where the snaps will line up. We're going to have 2 rows of snaps and they'll be about 3/8" inside the outer edges of the former velcro. Then measure out and mark in 1" increments the width of the front of the diaper (the white snaps were already part of the diaper; used to increase or decrease the rise to make it a one-size diaper. Our snaps will be orange).

Also mark the wings where the snaps will go.

To put the first snap in, poke the awl tool through all layers at one of the marks.
Please note that i said "poke the AWL", not "poke the owl". Poking an owl could be very dangerous and really just isn't very nice. Please be kind to the owls and poke with the awl instead. i started on the wings.

Now place a cap through. Since this is the wing, the flat side will be on the outside of the diaper and it will poke out toward the inside of the diaper.

Now place a male piece over the point and place the pliers over both sides (remember the flat side of the cap should be against the shallow piece on the pliers so the poky part goes into the hole).

Now, some might say just squeeze the pliers, but really there's no satisfying noise that goes along with the squeeze. So i say squeeze the pliers and say "Ka-chunk" while doing so. It's a little like saying "Abra Cadabra" and supplies some of the magic to the process.

Repeat for both snaps on both wings. The front of the diaper will be exactly the same, except you'll use female pieces instead of males.

(This shot also shows the light pencil marks and the 2 snaps on the wing in the side). Now, to make it truly a one-size diaper, you should add 2 more female snaps pointing OUTWARD on the wings about an inch outside of the male snaps one ONE of wings. This way, when that wing is closed first, the other wing can be closed on top of it, making a very small waist (and when the rise is snapped closed, it should fit a babe starting around 9 or 10 pounds).

And there you have it! And just so you know, it took about twice as long to upload this to a blog post as it did to convert the diaper.

What a wonderful Christmas!

i think back to 2 or 3 years ago and how i was happy but underneath it all i was sad because i didn't know what the future would hold. 2 years ago yet one more holiday had arrived without a child in our home, without even being approved as we should have been long ago. In fact, Dec 26, 2008 is when we had decided to start domestic adoption, not knowing whether we would ever be approved for foster/adopt, and shortly after is when i started this blog!

Anyway, this Christmas was probably the best ever. i got to spend it at home with my 2 favorite people, Charlotte was in an excellent mood despite all the gifts and excitement being overstimulating. She had an early nap and it lasted 3 whole hours (crazy!) and woke happy and regenerized.

Santa was generous to her and the rest of us. In truth, Charlotte got enough toys for a set of triplets lol, but at least she's too young to be TOO spoiled. We may put some of them up until her birthday and put some extra money in her education fund instead of buying gifts.

So, here we have proof that Santa really did come! We only had one tree in our bedroom, but when we woke up yesterday we had one in the living room, too, with lots of toys and Santa left footprints and everything!

Note the doll in the middle stocking (Char's), the lovely 2 wood toys in front of the tree, and in the far right corner you can see part of the wooden play kitchen that MIL bought that Santa must have set up for us. How sweet of him! She got SO MANY toys from us, MIL, and my sister also. Plus Santa's footprints led us to a toddler playground outside! Wowee!!! My favorites are the doll and a doll sling i made her. Here she is opening gifts:

As for me, i got spoiled, too! Alan gave me a Kinderpack toddler carrier, a snap thingie for crafts(or changing velcro diapers to snaps), pajamas, cutting boards, and Photoshop Elements! Woo hoo! Santa gave me a corkscrew, bottle opener, S'Mores making kit, and a Rubiks game.

And my favorite photo of the day for oh so obvious reasons:

Heaven help us!

It's been a while

Sorry, i suck as a blogger. But you knew that.

A lot and not a lot has happened in the last month. Our adoption decree was actually signed by the judge this time, and paperwork has started trickling in about new insurance plans and whatnot. Hopefully soon there will be birth certificates, social security cards, etc.

i've been going a little (a lot) insane with Christmas shopping. i keep telling myself "This is the last year you can spoil her like this!" But i know i will anyway lol.

i think we're getting really close to potty learning. We sort of are, just somewhat slowly. It started with another diaper rash about a week or two ago (she gets rashes anytime poop sits on the skin, and in this case she must have pooped in the car and then taken a long nap that started in the car), and we had her go pants-less for most of a week. We bought a froggy potty chair but she kept taking the bowl out and then peeing/pooping in it. i think the handles on the side of the bowl stick out in an uncomfortable way. Anyway, we now have the biggest Bjorn potty which she uses pretty well but she still likes the regular potty with the insert. Most of the time when i get home from work she wants to be pants-less again, and honestly she's doing really really well. Some days she has 1 accident (out of 3 or 4 "incidents") but less and less, and asks for potty with Alan and our nanny frequently. i've been looking for some training pants and such and plan to have her spend a lot of naked time the week after Christmas when i'm off and Alan is off all but one day.

It was a dark and stormy night

And full of traffic. And when i got home my poor girl had a really bad diaper rash, so i was very preoccupied by taking her to the potty frequently and searching for cloth-safe diaper cream and letting her go diaper-free and taking her to potty every 5 minutes.

Preoccupied enough that i didn't notice the toilet was running and overflowed until there was about 1" deep in our large master bath. Ick, what a night! And poor girly has already woken up needing a diaper change once after only an hour. i think it will be a long night. i want to change her as soon as she wakes because she really is in pain.

i asked Alan if he would pick up a little potty chair tonight or tomorrow and give Char as much diaper-free time as possible. The nanny said that she had poop in her diaper when she woke from her nap, and since she'd fallen asleep in the car and Alan took her straight to her crib, my bet is she pooped in the car then fell asleep. She hasn't pooped in her sleep since, well, ever. Any time poop sits on her skin, she gets a bad rash. It's totally not his fault; he didn't smell it and he certainly wouldn't wake her up to change her diaper. It's just one of those things but i feel so badly for her. Let's hope she "gets" the potty chair really well so the nanny doesn't quit lol.

Now here's hoping there's no leak in the bathroom or anything. After i turned off the toilet and then went upstairs to put Char to bed, it seemed like the water level fell a bit. Hopefully the rug just wasn't fully saturated and the couple of towels i'd tossed down were more aborbent than one might think rather than having a leak in the floor somewhere. Yikes!

Boy, oh boy

Still no news about the "lost" adoption. With the Thanksgiving holiday, we figured no one would be really working last week and didn't push. However, one of Alan's investigative reporter friends is "raring to go" -- meaning wanting to call the judge's office to push them along. Chances are they won't do a story about it (the station's legal department doesn't like to piss off judges without a really compelling reason) but it will hopefully spawn some accountability. We'll probably hold off until late this week, but this mess has to get resolved before Dec. or we'll miss out on all benefits,the tax stuff, etc.

So yesterday we did our Christmas decorating. We decided to skip the tree in the living room this year, for obvious reasons. We did put up a tree in the master bedroom as well as a lighted wreath above the mantle and a lighted garland on the mantle, garland on the stair rail, some Christmas-y decorations around, etc. It looks pretty nice considering. We're planning to assemble big gifts a week or more before Christmas and then on Christmas Eve we'll put up another tree in the living room so when Char wakes Christmas morning, it'll be like Santa came in the night and REALLY brought some Christmas magic.

There was a big mishap yesterday that shows just how genius Char really is. Alan went on a hunt for extension cords (somehow they disappear this time of year), and Char followed him. He came back through the living room where i was and into the kitchen. i thought Char followed him into the kitchen, but she must have turned around and left the other way again.

i heard what sounded like a mouse in the wall between the living room and master bedroom. Since we don't have mice and Alan was in the kitchen in the other direction, i called "Where's Charlotte?" to him. He thought she was with me, i thought she was with him. Uh-oh!

i ALMOST passed right by the master bedroom because the door was closed (and surely i would have heard it close, right?), but i decided to peek in. As i did, Charlotte walked out of the far corner of the room holding, in one hand, a pair of scissors (!), and in the other the plastic babyproofing outlet cover (!!). She had clearly been trying to insert the scissors in the outlet cover. Oh, and where did she get the scissors? She somehow got them out of a babyproofed drawer. Yeah. Guardian angel that day for sure.

It just does NOT stop!

Question of the week: Is our adoption final or not?

We have still not received Charlotte's birth certificate, SSN, or new medical card with her new name, etc. When i contacted the medicaid office, they said they had no record that the state had sent in the paperwork. Every time we called the attorney or the state adoption worker, we get the same answer: "i sent in ___ paperwork; the state's probably backlogged right now."

Well, enough was enough so Alan decided to walk to the courthouse/county clerk's office and get some extra copies of the adoption decree and just send in the paperwork for everything ourselves. And... they have no record of the adoption being final. WHAT?!?!

Our attorney claims that the judge's assistant must not have filed what should have been filed. i'm skeptical. But we'll hopefully know what happened or at least how to fix it soon.

This week

Well, after being unceremoniously dumped from daycare and my MIL traveling here for the week with 30 minutes' notice (God bless her heart!), we spent the last couple of weeks looking for a nanny.

We finally found one! The amazing thing is we really liked every person we interviewed. We eliminated one based on price, one based on schedule (she travels with her sister's music group and may need more 1/2 day Fridays than we're really comfortable with), one based on transportation (she and her husband have only one car and she'd have to pick him up every day).

That left two: a college student (pre-nursing minoring in child psych) and a grandmother. We loved them both, but there was a $3 cost difference and in the end we went with the student. Her schedule will stay really flexible until next fall, and that's probably when we'd want to try Char in school again. Perhaps if all is still well then, we can keep the nanny 2-3 days a week and ease Char into school 2-3 days a week.

So far she's fine but she's scared of the dogs. We're working on it :).

Happy Hallowe'en!

This is the second time she's ever had sugar! (The first was during TERRIBLE teething and she ate a Flav-Or-Ice).

Life's Lessons

i thought i learned my lesson about having "control" when i lost my job a few years ago when the economy tanked. And i for sure thought i learned my lesson when we had trouble trying to conceive, and were told we needed the help of a lab to conceive. And then again when we waited a year to be approved to foster/adopt. And then again when our first placement went home. And yet again when Charlotte came home addicted to everything under the sun and it seemed like nothing i did could soothe her little body or soul. And the first time she got sick...

Are you sensing a trend yet? Because i'm learning my lesson again. i never did have control, and as long as i'm a parent, i never will again. i'm writing this as i'm steeling myself to call the director of Charlotte's school again. i'm pretty sure i know what she's going to say, and it's pretty much equivalent to losing my job. i'm pretty sure that if Charlotte isn't losing her spot at this school, she will very soon.

It's so very hard because we're doing absolutely EVERYTHING we know how to do. The only advice we're not taking is harsh advice like "bite her back". And at this point, if i thought it would actually work, i'd probably actually try it, but i know it won't work. It will just teach her that 1) mommy can't be trusted, and 2) mommy bites so it must be okay.

Today we had our first OT session, and i thought it went really well. We learned some good at-home activities to do, and some things we can ask the school to do (if they will, of course), to help. But none of that positive seems to mean much in the face of this upcoming phone call.

i just needed to whine a bit. Thanks for reading (if anyone still reads this blog).

3 word "sentence"!

About 2 months before most kids put 2 words together, Charlotte put 3 together today!

i'm in a baby carrier exchange, and a package came today with a ring sling and a mei tai. i opened it when i got home, and Charlotte saw the mei tai, pushed it toward me, and said, "Up please, outside".

She's so freaking smart!

The appointment :)

We had Charlotte assessed for Sensory Processing Disorder by an Occupational Therapist today. i'll skip to the bottom line first: She definitely shows sensory issues, but because she's exceeding her milestones and it doesn't make it dfficult/impossible to function daily, she probably wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis of SPD. So, pretty much good news.

If you know anything about the senses, this will make more sense to you lol. Charlotte is sensory-seeking for Vestibular and Proprioceptive activities. Vestibular Sense is your sense of motion; if your Vestibular Sense is underactive, you're a "seeker", and you're always in motion and always seeking fast movements, swinging, rocking, etc. This is my Char. She also has an underactive Proprioceptive Sense, which is a little harder to explain but it's basically your sense of your own position in the world around you. Proprioceptive "seekers" like Charlotte love to climb to high places, bump into things a lot, don't feel pain as intenty, etc. Again, Charlotte to a T.

One thing i found interesting is that the OT said that biting provides proprioceptive input. This is kind of surprising to me. i actually would have thought it to be tactile; either oral stimulation or maybe taste. So this could be pretty helpful!

Her recommendation is going to be to give Char 2-3 OT sessions and help us get set up to do therapy at home to provide her with the vestibular and proprioceptive input she needs. Of course we already give her lots of outlets,spending tons of time outside, going to playgrounds, etc, but this will be more specific exercises to give her the input and also to do exercises that will help "order" those senses. Yay!

One thing i'm not sure how i feel about honestly is the recommendation that when she bites or tries to bite, to give her her chewy toy and tell her not to bite people but to bite the toy, then praise her when she chews the toy. It kind of feels like rewarding the bad behavior. i don't like to be punitive necessarily, but it still feels off. But if it helps...

The night before the appointment

The night before the appointment finds me anxious. On the one hand, what if my sweet, precious, precocious girl has SPD? i know it doesn't actually change anything. She'll be the same girl no matter what, we'll just know more about her. Still... it changes things. It puts a name to something. It invites judgment from those who don't "believe in" this particular condition. i've heard of it referred to as "the new ADHD" and "autism light". Some people will say she just needs a good spanking. Others will criticize when i push her to her limits and maybe they feel like i'm being too hard on her. (And sometimes i will be, because i WILL screw up, but i'll be doing the best i can and what i think she needs at the time.)

And on the other hand, what if she doesn't have SPD? What if there's no "explanation" (have you noticed i'm quotation mark heavy tonight. Sorry...) and she's just a difficult child, maybe even a bully. Now, i don't think for a second that even if she IS a bully at 16 months, it doesn't mean she will be in a month or a year or ten years. Still, it's a blow to my parenting confidence, you know. And it brings up again the very real possibility that we'll be asked to pull Char from her school, and i can't tell you how much we love her school. She is doing SO well there, and i adore the Montessori principles, and they do a good job with them there. Plus what will it really accomplish? i mean, sure, it helps the school some and protects the other kids from her, but it doesn't help Char or the underlying problems at all. i fear it would turn into playing musical daycares, staying somewhere until they can't deal with the biting and she gets kicked out again. There were seriously only 2 daycares/preschools that we really liked that were within reasonable driving distance of our home/work. And while the other is nice, i don't think Charlotte would THRIVE there the way she does at her current school.

And on the third hand (i must be some sort of space-alien creature here), what if she is misdiagnosed with it, or the opposite and she's not diagnosed when she really has it? And because of this third hand and the niggling doubt, will we/i ever really feel confident in the diagnosis or lack thereof?

And lastly, how does my husband feel about all this? Sometimes i feel like i'm driving the train and he's along for the ride. Don't misunderstand; he's the BEST daddy in the world! But he usually sits back and lets me lead on the parenting, and (being the overanalytical space alien i am) i worry what he's really thinking about it. i hope he's okay and that tomorrow is satsfying for both of us. Well, all 3 really.

Speeding Up a Freight Train

That's what it feels like, anyway. i spent hours yesterday and last night trying to find ways not to wait 3-6 months for a diagnostic appointment. Today, i found it!

i may have mentioned before that i have a friend whose wonderful 3 year old son has William's Syndrome, which is a condition caused by a spontaneous gene mutation that causes physical and mental delays developmentally, as well as other conditions like heart disease. i know that he gets Occupational Therapy for WS, so i found out through Alan who his provider is. It's a small non-profit close to my job. They take Char's insurance, and we have an appointment for diagnostic testing for SPD this Thursday!

Crap crap crap

Well, i've been pretty silent lately for lack of news. The pediatrician sent a referral to Vanderbilt's Developmental Pediatrics department (i don't think it's called exactly that, sorry), which diagnoses SPD as well as ADHD and autism spectrum disorders. Unfortunately i found out today that the wait list is 3-6 months, including last-minute cancellation possibilities. i'm seeking out other diagnostic options, including OT (Occupational Therapy) practitioners and early intervention.

Char bit again today. She'd actually had a few good days last week, starting the previous Friday and then through Wednesday. Unfortunately the streak ended on Thursday afternoon after a very fun but exhausting field trip to the pumpkin patch. i can't say i'm surprised; if it would happen any day, it would be that day since all the kids were overstimulated and most slept in the cars on the way home and didn't sleep at all at their normal nap time. Char had a hard time with the structure of the field trip, too, wanting to do things that were "off limits", so it wasn't a great start to her day.

i don't think she bit on Friday (actually she was bitten because she put her hand in another child's mouth - der) but she bit the same child from Thursday today. And that child still had bite marks/bruises from Thursday today. And that child's parents are understandably very concerned; reading between the lines it seems that they may have threatened to pull their child from the school.

So the school called today and wants us to take a break from the school for a while. Which is really not feasible; a day off from school means at least one of us has to take 1/2 day off work. We both have about 2 vacation days (Alan's are to last the year but i'll get a couple more on Nov 1 and Dec 1) and the school has an in-service day next Monday, plus Wed-Fri on Thanksgiving week, plus 2 whole weeks at Christmas (one of which i am off but not the other). We've actually been trying to figure out how to handle the Christmas break as is.

So, we're going to go to 1/2 days at school for a while, with Alan keeping her in the mornings and then afternoons at school. We're hoping it's not for long because that's the time that Alan does housework and errands, but of course that's a minor concern comparatively. The hope is that a break from school helps break the behavior, but honestly i'm skeptical. i'm willing to do whatever needs to be done, though. So far, this is what we do/have done:

1. Read the book "Teeth Are Not For Biting" twice a day
2. Medicate her with Ibuprofen and send Tylenol to school
3. Teething necklace
4. Send alternative "biters", including a vibrating teether and a little plush toy she can bite
5. Role play, play act with toys, and fairy tales about biting and talk about alternatives to biting
6. The rare occasions she bites at home, we react consistently with time-outs and time-ins
7. Talk to the pedi about SPD and get a referral

Any other suggestions? i'm out of ideas :(.

i hope someone is amused by this

Because i assure you, last night at dinner time after she refused 3 other foods and i decided to try cereal, already on my last nerve, I WAS NOT AMUSED, CHARLOTTE! (Today i am HIGHLY amused!)

Coping

Nothing about this perfect girl is any different. We just know more about her. Telling myself that seems to help.

A real blog post for once

This blog will be shifting gears a little for a little while. Hopefully a little while anyway.

i finally had the conference with Charlotte's school director. She said Char doesn't seem to be biting out of the usual reasons kids bite: 1) Teething, 2) Lack of Communication/Frustration, 3) Aggression/Mean-spiritedness. She said that the way she bites is different, so while she is teething, she doesn't bite the way teething toddlers bite. She seems to be getting some sensory satisfaction from it. She (the school director) has a lot of training in Sensory Integration Dysfunction, which is now known as Sensory Processing Disorder, or SPD. She feels that Charlotte shows some signs of sensory processing issues.

Charlotte's prenatal history certainly puts her at increased risk of neurological issues including sensory issues, but plenty of kids (most, in fact) with SPD did not have any prenatal exposures. She could have developed it totally ransdomly, or it could be tied to her exposures.

Something i don't talk about a lot in this blog is that i have a nephew with Asperger's Syndrome, which is a type of high-functioning autism. When he was diagnosed about 6 years ago, i learned a lot about it, as well as sensory issues. i saw a LOT of myself in what i read, and also my brother. i have received confirmation both peer-related and professional that i display the characteristics of high-functioning Asperger's. And i have significant sensory issues. i've outgrown some of them, i've learned to deal with most of them, and i still deal with some of them daily. Some days are worse than others and if anyone even touches me, i want to scream. Those are the hardest days for me as a mom because they tend to correspond to Charlotte's needs to be held and touched. Babywearing is a life-saver on those days!

Anyway, i find it incredibly ironic that of course one of my TTC fears was passing those genes along, as well as my other health issues. i usually joke that i inherited the sludge at the bottom of my gene pool. And here i am with a child who may have some similar issues to mine, who isn't biologically related to me at all but looks so similar strangers comment on how she looks "just like me" everywhere we go. I suppose it's a blessing to her that she has a mom who understands those days she just needs to open the window (even in the middle of winter) and lie under a dozen heavy blankets. Obviously i would rather not have her go through anything adverse, though, especially something i know the pain of.

What next? Well, tomorrow we set up an appointment with her pediatrician for her 15 month vaccines (she's a little behind because she was way behind with the 12 month; oops). We will discuss the biting as a behavior concern and also will ask for a referral to an Occupational Therapist or a Developmental Pediatrician, the 2 types best prepared to make an SPD diagnosis. Future blog entries will discuss things like her current and past symptoms, and how looking back from this new perspective just makes my tendency to over-analyze everything go all haywire ;). i do know some babies are diagnosed as babies younger than Char, so my hope is that if she does have SPD, that it is mild. i will probably also talk about Montessori and SPD, as i'm actually finding interesting blogs and articles about how Maria Montessori's method is very beneficial to kids with sensory processing issues.

A major milestone

in many ways, the weekend was supremely craptastic (poor Alan is still sick after almost 2 weeks, i had to miss the design team meeting for the playgroung group and thus have to drop out, and a very crappy misunderstanding). However there was one very noteworthy event yesterday. Drumroll, please...

Charlotte kept one diaper clean and dry all day! Sometimes she asked for potty by name or walked to the bathroom, sometimes we took her at regular times (after eating, before and after car rides, after nap), and sometimes we just gave her random chances. We didn't pressure her or make a fuss if she didn't go, and it's not like we spent all day in the bathroom. It was just a normal day with no diaper laundry lol.

This and that

i'm happy on a personal level because we've started cloth diapering full-time (except overnight). We started with 12 BG Organics (Elementals), and i have a few BG 3.0 seconds and WAHM AIO's on the way. So far, so good! No leaks, first day at school without issues, etc.

i also bought "The Everything Potty Training Book" and have started implementing some of the "pre-potty training" ideas, like vocabulary, etc. i was thrilled to see that book actually included a nice chapter on EC, though they don't call it that. My hope is that the cloth diapers (esp. the organics which don't have a stay-dry liner) will help her feel wet and ask for the potty more. i feel like a few more months and we will be at a real turning point.

A cute story from today: This morning Alan brought down the crib sheets and blanket for school (they send them home Fridays for washing). Char wrapped a teddy bear in the sheet and "tossed" him over her shoulder like i "toss" her when i wear her in a woven wrap. Too cute! i think i need to make her a doll sling.

2 excursions - enjoy the pictures!

Saturday we went to the zoo. This was Char's first trip to ANY zoo and mom and dad's first trip to the Nashville Zoo. (As a aside, i wasn't that impressed. The habitats were very nice but were spaced really far apart, so too much walking really, and the paths were too narrow. It was also hard to see most of the animals).

The giraffes were a huge hit, though, because they were pretty close, very large of course, and quite active, so we took a lot of pics there.

Yes, i do still wear my 22+ pounder on my back. We both love it! The Beco is great for trips like this because it's pretty easy up and down with a husband/helper, and she can ALMOST see over my shoulders.

Giraffes run in slow mo.

Taking a water break :). Such a big girl!

Alan caught a BIG FISH!

The petting zoo was another huge hit! Here's Char playing with a baby goat.

i call this "really good picture of really bad parenting". LOL But seriously, sweetest baby camel ever :).

On Sunday we went to the redneck family reunion on the Cumberland Plateau. My cousin Scott has hosted it for he last few years, and he has a really fabulous garden. It's worth the trip just for the photo ops.

Help!

(Not really)

Char's afternoon teacher told me that Char learned a new word: "Help". Char is (frowny face) usually the last child to go home in the afternoon, and she helps the teacher clean the classroom. The teacher usually gives her a tissue or baby wipe and she wipes down the shelve with it, or sweeps with a little broom, or dusts with a little duster. Montessori education is all about making housework fun.

Today the teacher mopped, and Char mopped with her own little mop, and ran around saying, "Hep! Hep!" At home she spilled my drink, so i tossed her a rag and told her to help me clean it up, which she happily did. (As long as she doesn't start thinking it's all a game, no problems lol). i wasn't thrilled about the drink spilling, but i was so impressed by her cleaning it up!

And yesterday she sang "H-I-J-K-alalalala-Q-R-S---double-la-Y" That's practically half the alphabet lol. Such a litte smartypants.

Check out this awesome giveaway!

http://www.breastfeedbabywearclothdiaper.com/mmb-gimme-giveaway-2
Mom's Milk Boutique is giving away a gorgeous new Weehuggers wetbag that really looks like a hip purse or diaper bag. i LOVE them, especially the "groovy" design.

Sometimes life just isn't fair

i'm crying (again) for a friend of mine. She's been TTC about as long as i have, and had just had her (sort of) third IVF attempt, which failed. (The first something went wrong with medication and the embryos were frozen but didn't thaw well; the second there weren't enough follicles and the cycle was canceled. This was the first "fresh" cycle that went all the way through from start to finish, but the third time she had to go through the physical and hormonal torture of shots, not to mention the money!

And i really feel for her because i know she's a deeply religious person, and she struggled before IVF with the religious implications, etc. And now... heartbreak. i really, really, REALLY wanted this for her, not quite but almost as much as she did. i know she'll be a mom because i know God has a plan and i trust in it but i just KNOW. But i can't speed it up or release the pain for her and i really wish i could, even just a little bit.

So, yesterday was fun!

i met a friend online. Her name is MadameFancyPants, but i have seen her twice and neither time was in pants. What's up with that? But otherwise, she's awesome! lol. Anyway, her son is a few months younger than Charlotte and just started part-time at the same school. And she's going to be watching Char on the evening after month-end close at work, which this month will be Wednesday. So we played at her house and had a good time. Char seems to really like her, and likes her son also.

i also had a playground committee meeting yesterday, and it went well. They are really pushing the timeframe on this thing, wanting to get Phase 1 done this Fall/Winter, and wanting to get Phase 2 done next Spring. Phase 1 are things like willow tunnels, boulders, climbing/balancing stumps, a bridge, a rain garden, and some fencing changes. Phase 2 is a lot of work on the hillside including 2 slides, a climbing wall, a music wall, and things like this that are more costly and time consuming. i'm skeptical, but from what i've seen of the director so far, she'll plow through a mountan if she has to!

Another mixed day

Well, i've been sick. Again. Damned weak immune system. i did get the stomach bug and have been pretty incapacitated. Charlotte has been fine aside from the one vomit on Wednesday night, so she went to school today and came home with mixed reports.

First, she was bitey today. She's been biting at school a lot lately, more than she ever has at home. And she did it a lot today, and also pulled a child's chair out from under them :(. They even called her "aggressive" today. i wish i knew how to handle it, but if i'm not there, what can i do?

But the good news! The "oh my gosh i'm so proud" news! She went potty today at school! She said, "Potty" and then followed through. Bless the teacher who took her, too. i know it may not seem like that much, but for some reason i'm soaring. i had a feeling she was turning an EC corner and headed or PL (potty learning; hate the word "training" in reference to kids), and now i really think so. And it seems like her teachers may think so, too.

To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time she's said "potty" or gone potty at school. So, so proud of that. And a little ashamed of the biting.

Nosedive of a day

Started off geat. i lingered a little to play with Char, and we cuddled in bed for a minute. When i said, "i love you," she said "lalu". Alan was there and agrees that she was saying "love you". Yay!

Then it kind of leveled off for a while. Work was fine, still like my new job, but for a couple of days i've been feeling a little "off". Not really sick, but kind of like i was fighting something off.

Then i picked up Char to discover that she had bitten 2 kids, one breaking skin :(, and "there was some hitting involved." i hate this because obviously i hate that she misbehaved, but also i don't know what i'm supposed to do about it, you know? It's not like she's 7 years old and we can really have discussion after school. Sigh. The teacher even made excuses, saying it was a hectic day (the 2 teachers there are new and the Montessori-trained teacher called in sick, plus several kids have stomach bugs), there was a new kid in the nursery next door who cried all day, etc. She said, "Charlotte's a very bright child, always has that twinkle in her eyes, and i bet she picked up on the mood of the day." And she may be partially correct; we have definitely noticed that when the day starts out positively and happy, Char has a better day, and when it starts out grumpy, hectic, etc, she's fussier all day. Still sucks to hear, though.

And then we got home, and she wouldn't eat too well. She's getting a new tooth that's being problematic, and once again she doesn't like chewing. Anything (even her favorite fruit) that requires chewing, she would spit right out. i was saying, "Charlotte, we don't spit our food out" for the eleventy-thousandth time, when she puked up her whole dinner. Poor girl.

And then i was talking to Alan and rinsing the cloth i used to clean the mess in the sink, and the smell overcame me and i puked also. And then puked and puked some more. i think it's fair to say that we BOTH have the stomach virus that's been going around the school.

i hope i don't have to call in to work tomorrow. i've only been there 8 days so far for goodness sake. i did mention to my coworker that i didn't feel well, and brought my computer home, but i hope it doesn't come to that.

Still, i keep thinking about that "Lalu" this morning. It makes my heart sing even when my stomach doesn't.

Science Museum Pictures

i love these pictures! Char ran around like a crazy woman at the Children's Museum and was getting tired so i wore her at the Science Museum. That's my new wrap, a Vatanai Solsbury, in a Back Wrap Cross Carry with Chest Belt carry. Alan helped and the result was the best wrapping job so far with this wrap, which is narrower than my BB Slen woven wraps.

One of my favorite memories is when my oldest sister had swim meets at what i think is a small college next door or very close to the AMSE (American Museum of Science and Energy; i had the name wrong slightly), and my other sister would take me to AMSE through this little trail. Honestly the museum is kind of old and small and not that impressive but when i was little i thought it was tremendously cool. i hope Charlotte got a little something out of it, too :).