Disappointment

So the insurance thing sucks. We've had to wait until Jan 1 for my Lapex surgery because DH's insurance doesn't have out-of-network coverage. There was an out-of-network option, but i didn't realize and he didn't realize and we didn't get it. My insurance at work sucks, so i opted out of it last year. And the surgeon is out-of-network, and we can't afford tens of thousands of dollars in cash. So... we figured we would wait until the open enrollment and change to something with out-of-network coverage and get the surgery after the beginning of the year.

Guess what? His insurance is going to suck even worse than my option at work. For out-of-network it will be an $8k cash outlay basically. For mine i think it will be $4k cash. So now i'm not sure if i will be having surgery in January. Or when i will be able to. i'll have to find out how the two insurances would work if we had double-coverage, but i'm pretty sure it would be $4k outlay minimum.

i'm trying to digest this right now. It's very depressing. i don't understand insurance well enough to know what to do, but i feel like melting into a big puddle of tears. i'm in enough pain 2 out of every 3 days that i can't do some of the things i used to enjoy (i.e. horseback ride, take long walks, so many things), and i know it will only get worse.

Right now, i don't know what to do but put my ready-made Etsy items on sale. i'm going to put a thing or two on sale every week at a steep discount (no discount for custom items obviously as i'd have to buy new supplies), and hope people keep coming back to see the new item :). Just in time for Christmas? Come one, come all. Big sale. Okay, i'm done. i've already made myself sick.