genesis 2

Alan and i talked a lot about kids before we got married. In fact, one of the reasons i divorced my ex was because i knew he couldn't be a decent father, and it wouldn't be right to bring kids into a dysfunctional relationship. But i've always wanted kids, so we discussed them a lot when we were getting to know each other again.

The "plan" was to have some biological kids, maybe between 1 and 3, and then when they were school age, to become foster parents. We decided i should go off the Pill shortly after we were married, and have been ttc ever since (that's 1 year, 11 months at last count). A little over a year later, the roller coaster REALLY began.

First, i had some really horrible pain mid-cycle. Turns out it was a small cyst, probably a functional one. i do have severe (Stage IV) endometriosis, and have had cysts before. In fact, i had one removed via laparoscopy in December 2005, and it is most likely that when i ovulated that month, the follicle formed on scar tissue from the earlier surgery and caused the horrible pain, which sent me to the emergency room.

When i followed up with my regular OB/GYN, he was completely unconcerned and basically said, "You'll probably get pregnant. Don't worry about it." Despite it having been over a year ttc, and despite me being in my (albeit early) 30's with diagnosed Stage IV Endo. It was at that point i decided to get a second opinion.

The second opinion was with a reproductive endocrinologist, who did an ultrasound. And, not only could he not find the cyst, he couldn't find my left ovary at all. He advised us to do IVF, like, yesterday.

This was the point Alan and i first talked about our options. We discussed in vitro, we discussed domestic adoption, international adoption, and foster adoption. We weren't interested in IVF because biology never seemed important to us. Alan was pretty against infant adoption, and i've always wanted to foster, so we started that route.

Late March, 2008 we filled out our first application to foster for the state. We also decided not to stop ttc just yet, and this is when i started charting.

The roller coaster continues...