Something that's been on my mind lately

i wouldn' tcall it an all-out obsession by any means, but i've been thinking a lot about another baby, specifically a younger biological sibling to D. She's 7 months old now, so it's entirely possible that her birthmom is pregnant again. Or, it's entirely possible that she's not and will never be, or won't be for a long time. Who knows? D's older brother T is about 17 months older than D. Back down 9 months (if she wasn't very early) and you have pregnancy with D when T was about 8 months old.

D's birthmom will never be allowed to parent again. That's almost 100% guaranteed because she's sustained so much brain damage from the drug overdose that got older brother S removed at age 3 several years ago. Her birthfather conceivably could parent with a HUGE life change, but as long as he's with birthmom, that won't happen, and thusfar he hasn't really fought for custody, just stood by his girlfriend's side.

If another baby with the same birthdad were born in my county, even after the adoption, we should get called right away or within days at least. If a baby were born in another county in the state, if we haven't completed the adoption of D, we should get the call quickly. But post-adoption and it could take weeks or even months. If they left the state, it could take a while to get the call. Would we take the baby from another family? i don't know. We're SO grateful that T's parents didn't take D from us, and we'd lean toward paying it forward, but that's such a HUGE leap of faith! i don't know, i just don't know.

i don't know if i'm thinking about this so much right now because of D's age and it being somewhat normal to start thinking about future kids now (i've always wanted my kids to be close together in age), or because i'm nearing my next surgery and again dealing with some of the IF issues that go with it and the general lack of control of when we'll be parents again, or because it's come up twice in the last few weeks on an adoption forum i go to where people who've adopted have gotten the call very quickly about another sibling (one is foster/adopt and one is private agency adoption -- both have said "no", by the way), or what it is exactly.

Alan and i are in agreement, conceptually, that we will say "yes" if the baby is a newborn and we're called right away. It won't be easy, but we'll make it happen somehow. But will it happen? When will it happen? Am i crazy for thinking about this? i don't know... and i hate not knowing.

Doctors Doctors

We took D to the pedi yesterday because she's not getting over that cold. Turns out it's in her ears. (Here's where i tell MIL and my sister "i told you so" -- sigh). Her breathing is still really bad today, though, but hopefully will get better overnight. They did a breathing treatment, but they were out of masks. The nurse said, "You'll need to hold this in her mouth for the next 8 to 10 minutes" and then she bloody left. Speaking of bloody, it CUT poor D in the mouth! i was (and am) SO PISSED. We only got to 7 minutes at that time and there was no improvement, so we weren't sent home with a nebulizer, which i guess is good if they were out of masks.

Today i had my appointment with Mystery Doctor #1. i was skeptical, and i guess i still am to a degree, but i actually really like him. He didn't blow smoke up my ass, but he told me what i needed to hear, most of which corresponded to what i was hoping to hear. He does operate with robots, and said there's nothing he could do in a cut-open laparotomy that he can't do in a laparoscopy with robots. And he can even do bowel involvement.

Meanwhile, however, i'm going to have to have a colonoscopy to determine if there *is* endo inside the bowel or just on the outside. Boo that! i'll update when that's been scheduled with the GI doc.

Christmas 2009

Well, we packed up the car on Christmas Eve and drove to MIL's house in Knoxville. But first we had Christmas at home on Christmas Eve morning since we were afraid we wouldn't be able to get all the gifts there and all the new gifts from IL's home.

Let me just say there is NOTHING cuter than seeing a baby go through her gifts on her first Christmas! (D's gifts in front, of course!)

i LOVE that last picture!

After this, we loaded the car with way too much stuff, including one of the 3 great danes (the other 2 stayed home with a petsitter, but we felt it would be easier on this one to take with us, and she did TERRIFIC, i must say!), and headed to MIL's house. D slept the entire drive (which is INCREDIBLE) but of course we had a late night. We got there and found that my MIL's husband's granddaughter was wearing an outfit almost just like D's, so that was cute. Unfortunately i don't have any pictures i can share.

D woke up on Christmas with a cold, poor munchkin, but she did quite well regardless. Unfortunately despite me finding a store local to them that sells Haba toys and Plan toys, they pretty much got her plastic electronic stuff. Well, a couple aren't plastic but the others are electronic. Not a wooden toy in the bunch. She did get lots of clothes, though, and books, so that's good. We're grateful regardless, i just feel like i screwed up the one opportunity i had to make my preferences known. We told them she wanted "clothes, books, and wooden toys" and they asked about a really bad Fisher-Price toy, so i told them instead (via DH) about that store. Apparently that store sells lots of plastic stuff, too. Sigh.

We also got to see my sister, who gave her 3 cute outfits, and i got some HILARIOUS pictures of my almost-18-year-old nephew acting like a fool. He and his sister and 2 brothers had a blast with us and with D, and i know my sister enjoyed playing with D and feeding her a bottle.

D's most hilarious gift came from my MIL's best friend, whom we call "good Susan" (bad Susan is an aunt of DH's, and she is BAD). i don't know how to describe her exactly. She's very sweet but appearance-wise is kind of into appearances. She's had some "work" and she wears lots of nice jewelry, etc. She's married some men with money over the years, too. She gave D a top and pants that are silver. Like silver, with metallic flakes in them. Definitely not something i would *ever* pick out, but as Susan pointed out, "it's not pink." But the cherry on top was the silvery gray baby FUR COAT to go on top! If only she had some silver slippers lol.

My haul was pretty intense, i must say. i should have gotten nothing because the double loven was my anniversary and Christmas gift. But, Alan spoiled me as usual and got me several smaller things (2 books, a DVD, etc) AND a new baby carrier, this time the Pikkolo. i already love it! IL's got me a new babywearing coat, Suse's deluxe kinder coat, which i can wear solo or with D in front, in back, or on either hip! It's so warm and awesome!

We're back home and settled in and both Alan and i have the week off. i have to get some reports done at work for a coworker (which equals much-needed comp time as i only have i think 1 day off and lots of appointments for D coming up), but nothing else for my job, but lots to do at home. We've kept the living room and kitchen fairly well, but as a result we've neglected the rest of the house and need to remedy that. i also look forward to cooking and eating some family meals :).

P.S. The fur coat was fake, of course.

BabyLegs Buying Frenzy!

Someone on a parenting forum posted this blog site:

http://www.mybatonrougemommy.com/2009/12/reader-find-6-pairs-of-leg-warmers-for.html

i just did it, and it worked. i now have 6 pairs of babylegs (two of them are over twice as spendy as the regular because they're "supersoft") on the way for $28 total. It should have been $58, so i'm beyond thrilled. It's actually kind of hard to find enough babylegs that you like from those pages lol, but i managed somehow. i bought Juniper, Gold Polka Dots, Pumpkin, and Huckleberry, and Cream and Spice of the SuperSoft. Assuming i haven't already forgotten ;).

Great deal for other BL lovers out there!

Growth Spurt

It's either a growth spurt or D is making up for last week when she barely ate. She's back up to about 42 oz/day plus 3 solids meals! Unfortunately it comes with 4 night wakings. At a time that Alan was unfortunately sick with a sinus infection plus stomach virus and couldn't get up at night or do too more than hold D during the day (don't get me wrong, this is a HUGE help because she's still teething and doesn't want to be put down at all, but still won't let me wear her around the house, so it's hard to get anything done, and with it being the weekend before Christmas there is a TON to get done!).

Needless to say, i'm a bit of a zombie after the last few days, but i've survived, Alan feels mostly better, and D has eaten 33 oz since 6 am plus probably 3 oz of solids today before bedtime. Alan's usually better at getting her to eat at night, so hopefully that will reduce her night wakings down to maybe 2 (she's been eating 8-10 oz at night).

Today's food experiment

So, let me just say that i hate scheduling D's food. i'd prefer to feed on demand; and i did, until she stopped demanding except when VERY hungry, and even then she usually doesn't cry but just sucks on my thumb and fusses a little. So, we've had to more or less schedule when we and daycare offer her bottles and solids. Of course, if she ever shows hunger before time, we feed her. That's non-negotiable (except if she's hungry much before 8 -- typical bedtime -- i do try to stretch it, sometimes feeding some more solids, or it's really hard to get her to sleep).

Anyway, she's typically eaten about:
7 am - bottle
8:30 am - solids
10 am - bottle at daycare
1 pm - bottle at daycare
4 pm - bottle at daycare
5:15 pm - very small bottle at home with medicine
6:45 pm - solids
8:00 pm - bottle
Then she usually wakes around 3 am and eats a few ounces.

Each bottle we usually offer 6 oz, but she doesn't always/usually eat it all. The morning bottle she doesn't usually finish because of the night waking/feeding. Then at daycare she usually drains the 1 pm bottle but leaves 1-2 oz in the 10 am and 4 pm bottle, and then eats a ton at 8 pm. Her total before bedtime lately has been about 24 oz and during a 24 hour period usually 28-30 oz.

Today i took the risk and sent solids to daycare and told them only to feed her twice during the day at daycare. So her feedings today have been:
3 am - couple of ounces
7 am - 4.5 oz
no solids because caseworker was here then
10 am - 6 oz
12 pm - 1/2 oz solids maybe (she doesn't love green beans)
2 pm - 6 oz
5:15 pm - 6 oz (took 30 minutes to eat it all though)
6:45 pm - some baby-led solids (carrots, green beans, cheerios, and cranberries); didn't eat a lot but that's okay
8 pm - 6.5 oz

Her total for the day is 29 oz plus some, but not a lot of, solids. So far, so good, as they say! (Let's see how much she eats tonight).

i really hope this blog doesn't become a baby food blog though lol. Sorry, gentle readers, i tend to be boring sometimes. But yay for some progress. Right now it also seems that the reflux is under control with the meds and the solids :). At least until she grows some more.

i've decided i hate food as much as D does

Because it's such an issue in our house constantly lol. A month ago she was eating 42 oz in a day (Perhaps a growth spurt? Prior to that she was around 34), and these days she's dropped down to maybe 26ish since Thursday or so. i'm starting to think that she's not just "off" for a few days, but is truly regulating down in intake, which i think happens, it just seems sudden.

Anyway, today i decided to try 5 oz bottles at daycare in hopes she would eat all of them. Alas. She ate 4.5 oz for breakfast, then finished 2 bottles at daycare but only ate 1 oz of the third. At home she ate 2 more. Needless to say, when it was time for her solids dinner, she was READY. To the point of melting into tears when i put her on the high chair (also not unusual these days). i quickly spread some carrots and pears on a piece of toast, tore it into bits, and handed it over.

The toast? Well, not as popular as the pancakes with sweet potatoes yesterday, but she ate some and seemed happy enough to be feeding herself. Just not enough to fill herself up enough to last another hour plus before her last bottle before bedtime (and i learned last weekend NOT to feed that last bottle early or it will be super hard to get her to sleep).

Sooooo... i broke the rules and fed her yogurt a wee bit early (pedi said start around 7 months). We didn't have a lot of options i thought she might eat, and i had some i was about ready to toss, so i figured why not. i mixed some plain greek yogurt with what was left of the sweet potatoes dipped a spoon in it, and handed it over to her. Her coordination with a spoon is quite impressive, and these days she's been so fussy in the evenings that she doesn't want me to feed her, and she was about to have a bath. The result:

Oh, my gosh! If you could see a full-face picture, you'd see some over her eye, a little on her brow, but really she did quite well feeding herself. She couldn't dip the spoon in the bowl to get more (just wanted to use her hands lol), but all i did is put the spoon in the food and let her feed herself. And she did, over and over and over again. i have never seen that kid eat that much solid food in one sitting EVER!

Can you tell i'm super proud of my girl? i can't believe she's only 6 1/2 months and already cruising and feeding herself. i think i'm going to have to get creative with finger foods that she can eat since she doesn't like to eat chunky food yet (she'll chew on a banana or soft-cooked carrot but she'll spit the chunks out so that does no good yet). About all i've been able to do so far is the yogurt, pancakes spread with puree, and toast spread with puree. Age-appropriate suggestions are welcome!

Hopefully we'll both be enjoying dinner time more soon!