BEST husband EVER!!!

Yesterday i checked my email and we had another request from a caseworker to visit today. This seems to happen a lot, where they want to come with little to no notice, and i'm not a fan of this. Especially after i over-extended myself a bit last weekend and could tell my body was trying to tell me that i needed to slow down a little. (i have Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder, which is very much like Lupus, and it's been in remission for about 3 1/2 years, which is awesome, but occasionally my body tells me to chill out, and since i don't want a full blown attack again, i listen. i try not to take advantage of it, but i definitely listen and obey when my body tells me this.)

Now, it's not like the house was disgusting or anything. We don't let it get that bad. BUT we'd come in on Monday from shopping and left some stuff lying around on the kitchen counters, i'd come home on Tuesday and started a craft project at the kitchen table and left some stuff out where it doesn't belong, including a power drill which MIGHT not look great lying around, etc. i have needed to clean the master bath for a while and just never got to it; i was going to do it on Monday but the over-extending got in the way. The living room was fine, but the dogs had dragged some mud in and stained the carpet we steam-cleaned about 2 weeks ago, so it needed to be spot-cleaned again. And if you're doing that, you might as well dust really well and vacuum first, versus dusting after. You get the idea. And on top of that, we bought a new Sleep Number bed and it was delivered yesterday. So just a LOT to get done yesterday for a caseworker visit today.

i decided to take 1/2 day off from work and come home and clean, then get D from daycare early and have the caseworker come by. When i got home today, i found that Alan had dusted, vacuumed, AND steam cleaned. And not just spot cleaned, either! He did a wonderful job, too! So all i had to do was tidy the kitchen and give the bathroom a "lick and a promise" as my mom used to say. Needless to say, D and i had a good afternoon pretty much vegging around. i got my chores done while she napped, and now that she's in bed, i'm FREE for the rest of the evening. AMAZING! Figured i'd blog some and maybe get some exercise in before a steamy hot bath and a good book and a new bed. Yay!

Also in exciting and awesome news, my e-friend Bio sent us a package! i'll take and post pics soon i hope, but she sent 3 amazing things she hand knitted. She made an adorable pink stuffed elephant that D already loves, and the cutest booties for D. And a little something for me... fingerless mittens that are kind of cable-knit (she's probably shuddering reading this because i am clueless about terminology), but the detailing actually forms little owls! Those who know me, and especially Alan, know that owls are very important to us. When Alan turned 6, i gave him a stuffed owl he named Owlbert for his birthday. This was the first non-family gift he ever got, and he's treasured it since. He actually has a couple of hundred stuffed owls as he's gotten one for almost every Christmas and birthday since! (And he's old, so that's a LOT of owls lol). This girl is truly an amazing knitter and an amazing friend. Thanks, Bio!

i find this a little sad and a lot cute

At the family reunion on Sunday, my 8 year old nephew approached me and D and asked where D came from. i said, "What do you mean?" He repeated, "Where did she come from?" i'm thinking, "Am i going to have to have a birds and bees talk with him HERE?" He said, "You know, like what country did she come from?"

Society's message is that all adopted kids come from other countries. Which is sad. Of course, he doesn't know better, so it's pretty cute and sweet all the same.

i just said, "Not all adopted kids come from other countries." Which prompted a brief conversation amongst my relatives who overheard about adoption myths. So it was productive in a way.

Family Reunion

Yesterday was my family reunion on my mom's side. My mom was one of 5 kids (7 but 2 died as babies), and the only girl. i think 4 of the siblings were represented (though only two are still alive), plus two spouses of the deceased sibs were there, including my dad. One uncle had one son (who hosted the event, and his 2 grown daughters were there). One uncle had 3 kids, and 2 of them were there (one with a grandchild, but none of those kids were there). One uncle had EIGHT kids, and 5 of them were there with their combo of 9 kids. My mom had 4 kids and we were all there with 9 out of 10 of the grandkids. And the other uncle had i think 1 daughter, but he's an alcoholic and i never saw him much growing up.

Altogether there must have been 50 people there, if not more. It was fun, but overwhelming. i haven't been to the reunion in about 7 years i think, but wanted to get started again for D's sake.

D (we decided to go ahead and use her to-be-post-adoptive name of Charlotte to avoid confusion) did very well. She was certainly the hit of the party. i was proud to show her off, and i was thrilled to hear my cousin, who's a lactation consultant, tell me how far ahead of her milestones she is and how well cared for she is (even if she's eating that poison bottled up and sold under the name of formula lol). i also found out this cousin lives where i work, and her hospital is just a couple of miles up the road. i'm hoping we can grab a short lunch sometimes.

But boy am i wiped out!

From optimist to pessimist

i've noticed a change in me over the last few months. i used to be distinctly a half-glass-full type. Now i've turned into more of a "something bad will happen" type :(. i know what it is; it's being a mommy. Which is a WONDERFUL thing overall, but it has made me a worrier. Someone said that having a child is choosing to let your heart walk around outside your skin for the next 18 years. Yup. Truer words never spoken.

So it's not surprising that i was worried sick about today's tests. Not just what they may find, but also how she would handle it. First we thought it was going to be a scope procedure, which meant sedation, which scared me to death. Then we found out it's not a scope procedure but an upper GI, which is much better, but it meant she had to fast for 4 hours and then drink barium. i've had to drink barium twice and it is NASTY! So that made me nervous.

Well, she handled it like a trooper. She really is the world's best baby. i was so afraid we'd have 2 hours or more of straight crying from hunger because she normally eats every 2 hours (and of course they never run on time with tests so i figured another half hour at least in the waiting room). To make matters worse, she wouldn't even eat much this morning (from being sleepy and having to get up early).

Don't get me wrong, she had her fussy moments. But really that's all it was. Just fuss, not a lot of tears and crying. Which is unusual when she's hungry; it's really the only time she's fussy or cry-y. i really think God sent some of His mojo juice into her tummy to calm her (as requested).

As for the test results, well it was pretty much what we expected. The official report won't be out until next week, but we were in the room and could watch the monitor, and they did tell us what they saw (i love it when they do that instead of the old "We're not allowed to say anything" line). First they took X-ray videos of her breathing and didn't see any sign of her trachea collapsing, so that's really good news. Then they did a barium study (which shockingly she did not complain about eating, which makes me think formula must really taste terrible!) and watched the white barium in the bottle go down her esophagus and into her stomach, and then into her small intesting in a big black streak. We didn't see anything that looked odd, and neither did the doctors.

Then they had us feed her the rest of the barium (2 oz) and did some more X-rays to look for reflux. And boy did she oblige! Poor girl apparently has some pretty wicked reflux. And every time her breathing got bad, the reflux episode was really strong, so it could well be related :(. i sure wish i knew how to help this girl. We knew she had reflux but didn't know it was quite this severe. Not sure what they'll say next week, but for now we're going to switch her over to soy formula which several people have said is good for reflux.

The littlest one has been eating and sleeping pretty much the rest of today so far. Poor thing must be exhausted! i'm just trying to cuddle my girl as much as possible.

Friday

i had D on my back in the Beco Butterfly after our evening walk, rinsing out the daycare bottles to put in the dishwasher, when the house phone rings. We never use the house phone. Unfortunately, Alan listed it when he signed us up for the phone, so the only people who call are salesmen (ugh) and DCS. But the caller ID said "Vanderbilt", so i decided to answer.

It was an automated "reminder" that D has her scope procedure on Friday at 10:10 am (Central Time). Neither of us knew it was Friday as the doctor's office never called to say they scheduled it. Luckily i have Friday off from work, so i can take her. But i am SO SCARED! i know it's a minor procedure and i've had tons of more serious procedures and they weren't even a big deal, but this is a teeny tiny 10 pound baby! MY teeny tiny 10 pound baby! :(

Think of my girl on Friday, and say a prayer, please. And say one for me that i don't go insane waiting for it to be over.

My littlest pumpkin

She sure is a cutie pie! Last weekend we bought her a jumperoo. She's a bit young (and a lot small) for it, but she has good head control, and this particular one has a back/head rest. We have to put a sofa cushion under it so she can reach the ground lol. She can't quite reach the toys, but loves to bounce in it, or just stand. She loves to stand in general now.

Yesterday she had her "2 month" appointment, though she's almost 3 months. She missed her 2 month shots because she was sick on her appointment day, so this was the soonest we could get her in after being sick 2 weeks. i wasn't there yesterday :(, but Alan said she did really well with her shots and everything. She cried of course, but consoled easily. She didn't even get a fever (yet anyway).

The good news is that she weighed 10 pounds, 3 ounces and is 22 inches tall. This represents a little bit of increase in the growth charts for short of 3 months, but not much. Poor little tyke.

The bad news is that her breathing *is* an issue. They ordered an X-ray to look for a condition called tracheomalacia, which is a birth defect resulting in thin trachea cartilage and the trachea (breathing tube) collapses when inhaling. The X-ray will only show TM if they get it on inhale at the right moment. They think they did, but it didn't show on X-ray. So they want to scope her trachea to find out what's wrong. i do not like the idea of them putting a tube down my baby! Say a prayer that all is well or she'll outgrow it without needing intervention. My secret (not anymore) fear is asthma so bad we'd have to figure out what to do with the dogs :( :( :( :(.

Now, was that REALLY necessary?

Slight TMI alert: i have a bladder infection. i left work about an hour and 15 minutes early to go by the Take Care Clinic and get it taken care of (NOT worth getting an appointment to my regular doc). So i get there, pee in a cup in a VERY dirty public restroom, and wait forever for the "doctor" (really a Nurse Practitioner).

So the physician's assistant does the strip test, confirms there's an infection, and i wait for the NP. Who comes in and, just so you can get a visual and auditory "picture", is apparently Caribbean. Very cute lady, lovely accent, but it became comical.

So she asks me a bajillion questions that seem fairly irrelevant. For example, i love when they ask if you're sexually active and then ask if you're married. Thanks for making me feel like a slut before making me legitimate lol. Are you using birth control? Are you using condoms? Stuff like that. (The way she said "condoms" was almost cute). She presses on my back (no pain) and my abdomen (pain), and she says, "This hurts?" i say, "Yes, but i have very bad endometriosis and it always hurts."

Then of course came the inevitable "Could you be pregnant?" i say, "No." She says, "How do you know you aren't pregnant if you aren't using birth control or condoms?" Sigh. So then i'm left with the decision of whether to bear my whole IF story or just give the facts. i choose the facts. "My tubes are blocked." She says, "Okay, i choose tubaligation" (for the computer). i say, "No, i haven't had a tubal ligation." "But you said your tubes are blocked." There goes the "just the facts" strategy. i say, "i have very severe endometriosis and my tubes are blocked."

And then the conversation took a turn for the worse. (Yeah, it can, in fact, get worse.) She says, and i am not kidding, "Do you think it is time for some medical intervention? Surgery or in vitro fertilIzation?" Oh.my.gosh. Decision time number 2: Should i A) tell her off for her extreme unprofessionalism? B) give her the facts? C) blow her off? i say, "i've had surgery." She says, "Oh, and it keeps coming back? Maybe it is time for aggressive treatment, no?" i say, "You know what? You still have my urine in that cup. If you want to do a pregnancy test, go for it." i'm almost laughing at this point, because it's either laugh or cry, right? She says, "Maybe this is the month for miracles?" HO-LY SHIT!

So then she asks where i want to pick up the prescription. Do i want to wait for it there? Well, at this point it was only about 10 minutes before i would be leaving work to pick up D, and i figure it will take them 1/2 hour to fill the Rx as they are very slow, so i say, "Can i have it sent to another Walgreens?" She says, "Why do you want to do that if you are here?" Here, dear friends, is where i decided to mess with her a little bit. i say, "i don't want to be late picking up my baby from daycare." And walk out. :D