This is the last day of my time off

i've had 12/24 until today off, and it's been AWESOME! Actually, Alan has been off, too, so double yay. And yet somehow we managed to accomplish very little in the way of housework. i think we've just enjoyed family time too much, and taking turns so we can get more sleep and have some "me" time, etc. Plus of course being out of town for Christmas.

D has benefitted also. She went from belly crawling forward and belly-up (real) crawling backwards to real crawling forward. Yup, i have a real crawler as of Christmas morning. And she's pretty much been non-stop since then, which is good and bad. i'm hoping she'll be able to be a little more independent as a result (but she still fusses wanting you to go get her or give her a new toy rather than crawling to get you or the toy herself so far).

Unfortunately, our old enemy Reflux has returned. It started being bad again about last Wednesday, the day after we took her to the pedi for that sinus/ear infection. At that appointment, the pedi noticed her weight had gone up enough to increase her Zantac dosage, which usually takes about a week to really start working, and prescribed Amoxycillin. As of the next day, reflux started to return, and i don't know if it's because it would have anyway (from outgrowing the old dose of Zantac) and we just happened to go to the doc before the symptoms really started, or if the Amoxycillin is hurting her tummy as it tends to do and this is manifesting as reflux for her. IDK, but her breathing/laryngomalacia is bad again. We're trying to up her solids again and thicken her formula with cereal again in hopes it helps.

As far as solids, we tried beans yesterday at the Mexican place. Definitely a baby-led weaning (BLW) moment as she kept reaching for it. There were whole (soft) beans in the mush, so i must have given her 10 of them and she ate all of them. She's getting so good about chewing and swallowing, even though she still has no teeth lol.

Oh, and this week i've been able to do lots of toilet learning. i don't think i personally missed but one poop (and that's after 3 tries before and i didn't want to constipate her). She had a couple with Alan, but the rest were all in the toilet. Yay! One of these days she'll start signing for it, but it certainly isn't happening yet. She doesn't mind the potty at all, by the way, and has gotten where she can poop on the potty just as well as she can when she's playing in the jumperoo (ICK!) or while standing at the play table or furniture. Boy, if this can just continue for the next year, i will be beyond thrilled!

Oh, and we've retired the SnuggleNest Supreme :(. This is actually meant for cosleepers to keep the baby in bed, but we've used it in her crib for months (and a cheaper model prior to that), since she was dx with reflux and we've needed something to help with the crib angle and her sliding down. But alas, i found her flipped over the side the other day, and figured it would be safer to take it out and let her sleep on the crib itself, angle or no. She's doing very well with it, but has turned into a full-time tummy sleeper. Thankfully she's past the prime period for SIDS, but i can't say it doesn't make me nervous!

In 2 days is the motions hearing. 2 days! i don't know yet if i'll be able to go. She has this court date (which we're not required to be there but we're allowed to) and an ENT appointment where they'll test her hearing (reflux can cause hearing loss, hopefully not though), and i'd like to attend both. However, i only have 1 day off i think, which means i would have to take a half day off for each and would have zero cushion. Should the court date be in January (not likely), i wouldn't have any time for it, and i'd REALLY like to be present then. i also have a doctor's appointment in Chattanooga on the 19th that i haven't decided if i'll keep or not, and will have to have the colonoscopy at some point probably in January. i don't technically have to take vacation time for the 19th but probably would because that's the kind of person i am. But i'll probably need a whole day off for the colonoscopy which doesn't count as a doctor's appointment and i'll need the whole day off. i'll get a little comp time for some work done over the break, but there were massive computer issues and i didn't work as much as i'd hoped to be able to, so... bottom line i'll probably only be able to go to either court or the ENT. Sigh. i hate being vacation poor. (This time off isn't vacation for me; the whole company is closed).

This day can suck it

i was supposed to go to the doctor's appointment today with Alan and D. Originally it was scheduled for 1:30, so i took 1/2 day off to be there. Then yesterday (i think; could have been Wednesday), the doctor's office called and asked to push it back to 12:00. 12:00 is not a great time. To get 1/2 day in, i have to work until 11:30, and it's 45 minutes from work to the doctor. Plus Alan has to be at work at 1:00, so he couldn't really do a 12:00 appointment alone, but we decided that since we'd really like to get her diagnosed and treated sooner rather than later, we went with it. And yes, we know that the doctor is just trying to leave early and are not amused.

So i got to work an hour early this morning just to make sure i got a full 1/2 day in (and i had a lot to get done). Around 9:30, the doctor called to change the time of the appointment again, this time to 11:15. The doctor apparently had a very important tee time, er, meeting. This made it easier for Alan to go, but harder for me to, since i'd have to leave work at 10:30 to make it and i had way too much to get done, would have to come back in, blah blah.

So we decided to keep the appointment and Alan would go without me, and this would free up 1/2 day vacation for me to go to the Food Therapy appointment on Monday (it never ends!). The doctor, naturally, was running late and didn't actually enter the exam room until 11:55. Grumble grumble grumble. Which put Alan in a rush because he would have to drive all the way back past our house to drop her off at daycare and then back almost to the same place by 1:00, 1:15 at the latest. Yeah.

So they did the scope procedure, putting a tube down D's nose, and Alan says she did really well, just fussing a little bit. They did, indeed, confirm that D has Laryngomalacia, or soft larynx. Alan told me hours later (after the doctor was on the golf course, i'm sure) that they asked him if she's ever turned blue. So now i'm entirely freaked out that this could cause her to stop breathing! They say it's not that bad, probably won't need surgery, etc. But still, not exactly a good thing to hear without the ability to ask follow-up questions. Eeep!

The afternoon, otherwise, was okay, but i ended up having to stay late. Which is normally fine, but i got there early, so that's no fun. And of course the doctor's appointment put D behind on her food thing, so here i am, waiting for her to wake from her nap so i can stuff as much food down her gullet as possible.

Aaaaannnddd, when i got home, one of the dogs had peed on the carpet, for the first time in years. Little snot!

But, there is cake. Oh, yes, there is cake.

Pediatric GI appointment

D had her pedi GI appointment today. i guess you could say it went well, once we actually got in (they required our foster parent paperwork, which surprised us as we've never needed it before, and we didn't have it with us, so we had to place an emergency call to the caseworker to have it faxed... and we waited about an hour for it. i can't complain, though, since she did do us a favor.).

They are increasing her Zantac dose slightly per weight gain, and increasing her Prevacid from once daily to twice daily. i expect that to help a lot. They're also going to do a swallow study to see if there's any physiological problem causing this, referring her to an Ear, Nose, and Throat for a scope to check for laryngomalacia, and referring her to a food therapist who will work with her on the food aversion problems.

Laryngomalacia = similar to the tracheomalacia that was ruled out a month or two ago when she had the big upper GI study (and other X-rays), but instead of the trachea collapsing upon inhale, it's the larynx. Why it wasn't ruled out, too (or ruled in), i cannot say, perhaps it needs different tests? At any rate, apparently it's very common with reflux and again they almost never do surgery or any treatment other than treat the reflux.

OH! And her breathing is improved!

It's hard to tell for sure when i live with her every day, but the pedi noticed immediately that her breathing is doing a lot better. More evidence that the reflux really is improving :).

In sad news, D's brother was just diagnosed with asthma :(. Hopefully that won't happen with D, but it's very common in premature kids (and D most likely was slightly premature, though there was no prenatal care so who knows, right) and drug-exposed kids, so we're pretty much expecting it sooner or later. Hopefully later.

From optimist to pessimist

i've noticed a change in me over the last few months. i used to be distinctly a half-glass-full type. Now i've turned into more of a "something bad will happen" type :(. i know what it is; it's being a mommy. Which is a WONDERFUL thing overall, but it has made me a worrier. Someone said that having a child is choosing to let your heart walk around outside your skin for the next 18 years. Yup. Truer words never spoken.

So it's not surprising that i was worried sick about today's tests. Not just what they may find, but also how she would handle it. First we thought it was going to be a scope procedure, which meant sedation, which scared me to death. Then we found out it's not a scope procedure but an upper GI, which is much better, but it meant she had to fast for 4 hours and then drink barium. i've had to drink barium twice and it is NASTY! So that made me nervous.

Well, she handled it like a trooper. She really is the world's best baby. i was so afraid we'd have 2 hours or more of straight crying from hunger because she normally eats every 2 hours (and of course they never run on time with tests so i figured another half hour at least in the waiting room). To make matters worse, she wouldn't even eat much this morning (from being sleepy and having to get up early).

Don't get me wrong, she had her fussy moments. But really that's all it was. Just fuss, not a lot of tears and crying. Which is unusual when she's hungry; it's really the only time she's fussy or cry-y. i really think God sent some of His mojo juice into her tummy to calm her (as requested).

As for the test results, well it was pretty much what we expected. The official report won't be out until next week, but we were in the room and could watch the monitor, and they did tell us what they saw (i love it when they do that instead of the old "We're not allowed to say anything" line). First they took X-ray videos of her breathing and didn't see any sign of her trachea collapsing, so that's really good news. Then they did a barium study (which shockingly she did not complain about eating, which makes me think formula must really taste terrible!) and watched the white barium in the bottle go down her esophagus and into her stomach, and then into her small intesting in a big black streak. We didn't see anything that looked odd, and neither did the doctors.

Then they had us feed her the rest of the barium (2 oz) and did some more X-rays to look for reflux. And boy did she oblige! Poor girl apparently has some pretty wicked reflux. And every time her breathing got bad, the reflux episode was really strong, so it could well be related :(. i sure wish i knew how to help this girl. We knew she had reflux but didn't know it was quite this severe. Not sure what they'll say next week, but for now we're going to switch her over to soy formula which several people have said is good for reflux.

The littlest one has been eating and sleeping pretty much the rest of today so far. Poor thing must be exhausted! i'm just trying to cuddle my girl as much as possible.

Friday

i had D on my back in the Beco Butterfly after our evening walk, rinsing out the daycare bottles to put in the dishwasher, when the house phone rings. We never use the house phone. Unfortunately, Alan listed it when he signed us up for the phone, so the only people who call are salesmen (ugh) and DCS. But the caller ID said "Vanderbilt", so i decided to answer.

It was an automated "reminder" that D has her scope procedure on Friday at 10:10 am (Central Time). Neither of us knew it was Friday as the doctor's office never called to say they scheduled it. Luckily i have Friday off from work, so i can take her. But i am SO SCARED! i know it's a minor procedure and i've had tons of more serious procedures and they weren't even a big deal, but this is a teeny tiny 10 pound baby! MY teeny tiny 10 pound baby! :(

Think of my girl on Friday, and say a prayer, please. And say one for me that i don't go insane waiting for it to be over.

My littlest pumpkin

She sure is a cutie pie! Last weekend we bought her a jumperoo. She's a bit young (and a lot small) for it, but she has good head control, and this particular one has a back/head rest. We have to put a sofa cushion under it so she can reach the ground lol. She can't quite reach the toys, but loves to bounce in it, or just stand. She loves to stand in general now.

Yesterday she had her "2 month" appointment, though she's almost 3 months. She missed her 2 month shots because she was sick on her appointment day, so this was the soonest we could get her in after being sick 2 weeks. i wasn't there yesterday :(, but Alan said she did really well with her shots and everything. She cried of course, but consoled easily. She didn't even get a fever (yet anyway).

The good news is that she weighed 10 pounds, 3 ounces and is 22 inches tall. This represents a little bit of increase in the growth charts for short of 3 months, but not much. Poor little tyke.

The bad news is that her breathing *is* an issue. They ordered an X-ray to look for a condition called tracheomalacia, which is a birth defect resulting in thin trachea cartilage and the trachea (breathing tube) collapses when inhaling. The X-ray will only show TM if they get it on inhale at the right moment. They think they did, but it didn't show on X-ray. So they want to scope her trachea to find out what's wrong. i do not like the idea of them putting a tube down my baby! Say a prayer that all is well or she'll outgrow it without needing intervention. My secret (not anymore) fear is asthma so bad we'd have to figure out what to do with the dogs :( :( :( :(.