Small Update

i called our caseworker today to find out what we were approved for, and to see if maybe we could/should increase our ages a little bit. She said we were approved for up to 2 children of the same gender (since we only have one room for the kids set up) with minor behavioral or special needs, between ages 4 and 9. 2 *caucasian* chldren.

i don't know why exactly, but this bugs me. We said we were open to kids of any race. The only thing we said is that we would prefer they speak some English since Alan has never had Spanish and it's been a lot of years since i was in high school Spanish classes. Anyway, she asked us how we would meet the cultural needs of children of different ethnicities, and we said we have friends and neighbors of all races who are very supportive of us. So i don't know why our former social worker wrote us up for caucasian children only.

It probably shouldn't bother me much, but it does. It feels like i've been called a bigot or something. i've spent my whole life believing in, and speaking out for racial equalit. i don't mean to sound like i think raising a child of color is easy. Honestly, i think one of the most difficult things to do in today's society is probably to raise a good man of color to adulthood (with woman of color being a close second), and i have the utmost respect for people who do this. But i am willing and able to do my very best to do so right, should we be placed with an AA or BR child. And certainly love doesn't see color, at least not through my eyes. In a way it's like i'm being told we're not good enough in some way. It feels like a rejection somehow.

So, i told the caseworker that we weren't limiting ourselves in terms of race. i didn't really know how else to put it, considering she's good buddies with our first caseworker. i also said we were okay with kids from birth up to about age 10 or 11, and we could possibly take 3 kids if they were the same gender (i've got my eye out for bunk beds) or if one was in a crib we could put in our room. She said she would look at our home study to see if there was anything specific about race or age, and review with her supervisor. Terrific. Oh, and we've not yet been sent to the placement group, so they won't possibly give us any calls yet. Sigh.

In other news, the pain was downright bearable today. Definitely still there, but not nearly as bad as yesterday and not as bad as i expected. So that's definitely a plus. i could tell a huge difference between yesterday and today when doing yoga, and i was able to do about 30 minutes of good cardio, too (mostly step). W00t!