This is where i grumble about my family

First off, let me shout out to my one sister, and to my MIL and her husband. They have been very supportive of us and of D. i really appreciate that, especially considering.

So, let's see. My dad told me very early after D came that i was going to kill her, and has said as much 3 more times. Now my brother has told me that she's going to go to "juvie" in 12 or 13 years because of my parenting.

(The long story is that i was saying how i am a little disappointed that we won't be finalizing until May or June most likely -- definitely not before then -- because i want to be the mom, i want to be able to make decisions, etc. Brother said, "Yeah, you need to be able to spank her soon!" Now, i'm not a spanker by nature. i have grandiose ideas about "gentle discipline" and not even using time outs if we can be effective that way. Obviously not let her do whatever she wants and get away with everything, but a different kind of effective discipline. But i don't judge those who do spank, because i don't think spanking as an institution equals abuse. Sure, there are some who take it there, but there are some who make tickling abuse. i digress...

So because i'm a non-confrontational type person and i don't want to get into a whole big discipline debate, i just say (which is true) that we'll have to sign a piece of paper saying that we won't spank her before they'll let us adopt. Now, i'm not really sure how legally binding that document will actually be because the adoption will be finalized and we'll be the legal parents, and things like visitation agreements signed before adoption aren't enforceable, but it doesn't matter because we don't plan to spank. So i telll him this, and he says it's a bunch of crap and i can just ignore it, etc. i say, "No, it's fine because we don't have plans to spank anyway." "Oh, well be prepared for her to end up in juvie in 12 or 13 years." Crickets. Seriously, how do you respond to that? That's MY KID he's talking about being a criminal here. That's MY PARENTING he's dogging to my face before i even get a chance to use it! Grrrr... mama tiger's claws come out, so silence is my best way to keep from attacking.

A few seconds pass, and he says, "You gotta admit that was a good one, huh huh huh." i say (stone cold), "No, brother, it wasn't. i have never been anything but supportive about your parenting, i never said anything about people who spank, and i don't appreciate you saying that about my daughter or my parenting." So then he goes on to say, "Well, i haven't spanked the older boys in a while, and i don't think i've ever given the young one (age 6) a spanking." i couldn't resist: "Well, they've each got one foot in the prison yard then, don't they?")

So, yeah, i think that telling me i'm going to kill her or at least put her in prison equals a lack of support. i mean, my in-laws have made some small comments like we shouldn't use a fan in the baby's room (which we do because it reduces risk of SIDS) or we shouldn't swaddle because it looks cruel. Normal in-law annoying comments. But dead or in prison? Ugh!

My other sister (the one not mentioned in the top paragraph) has shown ZERO interest in D whatsoever. She's never called, never asked for pictures, never asked how the baby is, nothing. No Christmas present (or even card or even a call to thank me for the gifts i sent her kids). Nothing. My brother didn't send a gift either (he just claimed he didn't have my address and would send it later, but over a month later and clearly that's not happening), but at least he thanked me for it. My brother-in-law is not a baby person, i have to say, so it's not surprising, but at least his wife wants pictures and things.

Okay, vent over. i wonder how many of these people will actually come celebrate her adoption and birthday party...