Courage

This weekend was a relatively good one, all things considered. We spent a lot of the weekend working on D’s scrapbook. Scrapbooking is definitively NOT my new favorite hobby! I’m just not quite creative enough, and my gosh it takes a full hour to do one stinking sheet most of the time! At least it does for me. I’m definitely more of the instant gratification type. We did get a few pages that I think are pretty nice. The goal is twofold: 1) Lots of pics of D throughout the various growth stages so that she can have a complete life story if she doesn’t live with us forever, and 2) Provide a subtle message that she’s well-loved and well-cared-for, without being too obvious about it. Hopefully we are achieving that, but I think we may have just a few too many pictures of one or the other of us gazing into her beautiful big eyes to quite pull off the “subtle” part. Ah, well, we’re trying anyway.

In other weekend news, Alan had to work Saturday morning because the jury handed down a verdict in the 30-something-year-old murder case where a little girl was raped and murdered, so he had to write a promotion showing how great the station was. When he got home, we all went out to eat, to Target to grab some supplies for ::sniff sniff:: daycare, and then to Kohl’s, where we got her a nice semi-special-occasion dress for Friday’s meeting. She’s just about outgrown the frilly white almost-christening-gown that CPS donated for her when she first came into care. It used to be SO HUGE on her, and now it’s too tight in the legs. Amazing! So this dress is very cute and will hopefully, again, send the message that she’s well-cared-for and well-loved without being too obviously trying to impress. Sigh. I suck at this.

After Kohl’s, we went for a walk on the greenway next to Kohl’s that runs by the river past the dam that makes Percy Priest Lake and reservoir. It was a gorgeous day! I don’t know what the opposite of “Indian summer” is, but that’s what we were having this weekend. Highs in the 70’s, in late July in Tennessee, without being very humid either. Crazy, but I’ll take it! We got some pretty pics of D in her “natural habitat”, and we passed this nice older couple with 2 dogs as they turned down an unpaved trail down toward the river. About 2-3 minutes later, Alan was posing with D by an overlook (with a kayak down on the river in the background; very nice), when his eyes got all big and he said, “Watch out! There are some dogs coming this way.” The 2 dogs from the older couple were barreling down the path toward us. I called “Here, puppy, puppy!” and they came to me, and we stepped on their leashes and gathered them up and went in search of the couple. The poor lady had fallen and busted her face and also hurt one of her (both artificial) knees. L We helped them walk the dogs back to the car, maybe ½ mile back down the path, as the husband helped his wife walk back. I really hope she’s doing okay today!

Sunday morning we got up and went to church. This is an occasion, people! We never go to church! I think the last time was about 18 months ago actually. It’s not that we don’t believe, or that we are lazy (though I’m sure it’s tough for Alan to wake up early). Remember that little children’s joke thing where you lace your fingers on both hands together a certain way and put your index fingers out straight on top and say, “This is the church, and this is the steeple. Open it up and see all the people”, and then you open your hands and wiggle your fingers and those are the people? Well, my problem is the fingers. We are both really shy, we don’t really like to meet new people, especially in large groups. Alan is better at it than I am. I can’t explain it, but it’s very, very scary for me. (If I haven’t mentioned it before, it’s because I have very high-functioning autism...)

Well, I bucked up my courage and went. We went to a smallish but not tiny Methodist church in our neighborhood. The last time we went to church, we tried a really tiny church, and they looked at us like we were lunch. I guess attendance is so low they get excited to see new faces. I thought a small church would be better than a large one, but it turns out not to be because the people practically swarmed around us and that was no bueno. So we were hoping a small but not tiny church would be better, and I think it was to a degree. People said hi, but weren’t too intrusive. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t really stand and say hi because I was holding the baby, but something was better. Unfortunately, the sermon was pretty uninspiring. The minister at the tiny church was great, but the people were overwhelming; this was the opposite. Sigh. Anyway, I did pull a few things from the sermon, specifically to “go with courage”. Which I really, really hope to do this week, but I’m also really, really scared.

Please keep thinking of us and sending us courage through prayers and good thoughts; we need it!