Small Update

i called our caseworker today to find out what we were approved for, and to see if maybe we could/should increase our ages a little bit. She said we were approved for up to 2 children of the same gender (since we only have one room for the kids set up) with minor behavioral or special needs, between ages 4 and 9. 2 *caucasian* chldren.

i don't know why exactly, but this bugs me. We said we were open to kids of any race. The only thing we said is that we would prefer they speak some English since Alan has never had Spanish and it's been a lot of years since i was in high school Spanish classes. Anyway, she asked us how we would meet the cultural needs of children of different ethnicities, and we said we have friends and neighbors of all races who are very supportive of us. So i don't know why our former social worker wrote us up for caucasian children only.

It probably shouldn't bother me much, but it does. It feels like i've been called a bigot or something. i've spent my whole life believing in, and speaking out for racial equalit. i don't mean to sound like i think raising a child of color is easy. Honestly, i think one of the most difficult things to do in today's society is probably to raise a good man of color to adulthood (with woman of color being a close second), and i have the utmost respect for people who do this. But i am willing and able to do my very best to do so right, should we be placed with an AA or BR child. And certainly love doesn't see color, at least not through my eyes. In a way it's like i'm being told we're not good enough in some way. It feels like a rejection somehow.

So, i told the caseworker that we weren't limiting ourselves in terms of race. i didn't really know how else to put it, considering she's good buddies with our first caseworker. i also said we were okay with kids from birth up to about age 10 or 11, and we could possibly take 3 kids if they were the same gender (i've got my eye out for bunk beds) or if one was in a crib we could put in our room. She said she would look at our home study to see if there was anything specific about race or age, and review with her supervisor. Terrific. Oh, and we've not yet been sent to the placement group, so they won't possibly give us any calls yet. Sigh.

In other news, the pain was downright bearable today. Definitely still there, but not nearly as bad as yesterday and not as bad as i expected. So that's definitely a plus. i could tell a huge difference between yesterday and today when doing yoga, and i was able to do about 30 minutes of good cardio, too (mostly step). W00t!

Yay!

i wasn't going to weigh myself today because i felt like i was probably not so good in that department. i was pretty good over the weekend, but i did go to Fazoli's (had half a cheese ravioli marinara and 1/3 of a garlic breadstick) and had more cheese dip than i should have at SATCO along with my usual. Plus i feel like i'm retaining, ugh!

But, i went ahead and hopped on the Wii Fit, and i've lost a total of 5.4 pounds! Which means i met my 2 week goal in a week and a half. Yay! Let's see if i can keep it up. i have about 20-30 pounds to lose now (Wii says i weigh about 10+ pounds less than the doctor's office says, so i don't really know) before IVF. Maybe i can make my birthday timeline after all.

i may just be inspired enough to go attempt some yoga tonight despite the pain.

Aaand... cue the pain

::fred groans in pain::

The only good news is we managed to get one Hail Mary play in before the pain got too bad. But seriously, ow ow ow ow ow!

PIF'ing some more

First come, first served!

Blech

Went back to work today. i was somewhat busy but not busy enough, so i just stayed pretty miserable. i can tell i'm improving, though. My nose isn't as runny and i'm not as feverish. Just feel icky.

Diet went well today. Wasn't hungry for breakfast, ate a 270 calorie Lean Cuisine for lunch, had fruit cocktail for snack, and had a Boca burger for dinner. i put my breakfast (yogurt) in the freezer and had it as a reward/dessert. All under 1000 calories.

Tomorrow's plan is cereal for breakfast (taking it to work so may end up skipping again, who knows?), frozen dinner for lunch with fruit cocktail snack, and idk for dinner, but i'll be good, too.

i did do the Wii Fit Body Test today. Down 0.1 pounds, but i don't think you can count that really. At least my Wii Fit age is my actual age, which is good considering how wobbly i am today from sickness. Maybe i can go for a walk tomorrow or something.

Word to the Wise

Apple Juice Slushes from Sonic are not, i repeat NOT, diet food. True, they are 100% apple juice, just frozen, but they are not meant to be consumed 44 ounces at a time. Yikes! And, if you are fool enough to drink one, which will probably take you an entire afternoon like it did me, do not Google the calorie content when you've almost finished the darn thing. 605 calories. YIKES! It does soothe a sore throat, though, and isn't as sweet as regular slushes.

Sigh. i weighed myself on the Wii Fit again tonight for consistency. i'm back up 3.1 pounds, so i've lost only 0.2 pounds total since last Thursday :(. Stupid sickness. In my defense, i did skip lunch today. All i've eaten today are 3 slices of cinnamon toast (also more calorific than a dieter may hope) and the apple juice slush, and a few cough drops. i'm going to go force myself to eat some yogurt so i'm not so hungry tomorrow that i overdo it.

i'm going to drag myself to work tomorrow if it kills me. And it may. i've got my lunch ready: Yogurt for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine for lunch, a little thing of fruit cocktail for snack, and i'll have a sensible dinner even though i won't want one. No more ice cream cheating. Darn it all, and it's not like i've eaten a LOT of food, just bad food. :( :( :(

Still miserable

Looks like strep, though the 5 minute culture never comes up positive for me. i'll know for sure in 2 days when the big culture comes back. Meanwhile the NP did give me antibiotics, thank goodness, or i don't know how sick i'd be tomorrow. i'm twice as sick today as i was yesterday. And it's REALLY hard to diet when all you want is frozen lemonade, bread, and cheese (aka comfort food).