Sigh, daycare... i'm at a loss (long)

Yesterday was the second day in a row that D ate half of her bottles at daycare. When i picked her up yesterday, the afternoon worker (who is not the one who feeds her because the bottles are done by the time she gets there) pissed me off royally by telling me to let D "cry it out".

Now, i don't want this section of my blog to get into an anti-CIO tirade or anything. Let me say that i am not a fan of CIO, and DH and i have vowed not to CIO for at least the first year (which we feel should be spent with her learning that we will respond to her needs; the second year will be spent with her learning the difference between needs and wants), but most likely ever. i do recognize that there are times when people really NEED to CIO, and i understand this and am not arguing against it for you and your family. But in D's case, her sleep issues are caused by a medical condition. She wakes up in pain from the reflux multiple times per night, and usually can put herself back to sleep unless she's hungry from not eating enough during the day. Even the pro-CIO crowd say not to do it with kids who have medical issues like we deal with.

OK, so the attempt to explain why i'm anti-CIO without pissing off everyone and their brother is now concluded :). But i REALLY don't think it's daycare's place to tell me to do this! That makes me very angry. So i simply said, "We don't do that." Daycare worker replies, "i don't mean let her cry for hours and hours." "i know what you mean, but that's not something we do. When she wakes up and she's not hungry, she goes back to sleep. But when she's hungry, she can't fall back asleep and needs food. And lately she wakes 3+ times a night and eats a lot at each waking, so i know it's really hungry." i wanted to say, "Now, you listen here! It isn't your place to imply that this is a problem with my parenting!" Grrr...

So we had our 9 month doctor appointment today (more on THAT in a minute! Yay!) and we discussed it with the pedi, who agreed that just because she's not skinny doesn't mean she's not hungry. We pretty much have 3 options: 1) Do nothing, 2) Feed more bottles with less ounces, but this would interfere potentially with solids and we've been advised not to do this because it encourages snacking behavior and doesn't give her a chance to get hungry, and 3) Feed fewer bottles with more ounces. We decided to try number 3, going from five 7-oz bottles per day (which she really only eats maybe 28 oz of before bedtime and then eats 1-2 times @ 5 oz each at night) to four 8-oz bottles per day. Daycare would only feed one bottle per day instead of two and we would add in a solid snack in the afternoon. Pediatrician said this sounded like a good idea. So we tried it today.

i go to drop D off at daycare today and the director is (i suspect) waiting for me, and tells me that the afternoon lady said i was very upset yesterday. i told her my biggest issue is that i'm not being called when D doesn't eat, that i'm home this week recovering from surgery and could have come and fed her yesterday, etc. i must say she didn't seem at all receptive to what i had to say. In the past they've promised to call when she doesn't eat, they just don't. So she told me to call them every single day to find out if D is eating. So i'm supposed to take time from my job every day to find out if they're doing their job that they're being paid for? Sounds pretty screwy to me! Basically they don't believe me that D is hungry. They think she's not hungry, when really she is but it hurts her to eat. Like yesterday after she ate half her bottles, she came home and downed a bottle with relatively little fuss (i cut her off at 7 oz because i wanted her to eat her bedtime bottle) and then ate ELEVEN ounces before bed. Which is unheard of! Tell me she isn't hungry!

The worst part is when i called at 1:45 (new feeding time for the bottle is 1 pm) to see how she'd done, she's eaten only 3 1/4 oz. Of the 8 oz bottle. Needless to say, i was pissed. i hopped in the car (i'd been cleaning before our reassessment tomorrow) and picked her up. Granted by the time i got her home it was 2:00, an hour after her feeding time, but i fed her a new 5 oz bottle and she practically chugged it. She did pretty well with her snack and ate 6 ounces of her 5:00 bottle, but it's 6:30 and she's acting starved. (i'll feed her some solids in 15 minutes or so).

Sigh. Really, i don't know what to do. My gut says move her, but at the same time i don't know if a new daycare can really feed her either. And it will take them time to get used to the special things i have to do to feed her anyway (special way of holding her, working through the pain, etc). In a few months we hope to hire a nanny after the adoption is finalized, so i hate to move her for stability's sake. But at the same time this junk can't continue. i'd feel better about it if they'd even shown the least bit of interest in listening to what i have to say instead of interrupting, arguing, and shifting the blame to me (i.e. i'm overly worried, i should CIO at night, etc).

Anyone want to move to Nashville and open a daycare and care for D as a nanny but really be a licensed daycare? Thanks in advance.

Sleep is still a bear

i write this after picking D up from daycare today to find that, instead of the usual 1-2 oz per bottle that she leaves (times 2 bottles) on a typical day, she left 7 oz total (4 in one bottle and 2 in the other) and only ate 3/4 of her solids at lunch. And i know what this most likely means: another night with multiple night wakings to eat.

Last week was hell, by the way. We moved D's crib into our room so MIL could have the nursery to herself, and she just couldn't sleep well. Part of it was MIL couldn't seem to get D to sleep. Part of it may have been that, when she's upstairs in the nursery and we hear her wake on the monitor, we tend to wait just a bit to see if she falls back to sleep. If she cries out a second time, we go to her, otherwise she puts herself back to sleep and is usually good at it. But when she was in our room, it was easier to get her immediately and harder to wait a bit. And part of it was probably her being in a different place. Not to mention teething.

At any rate, all we've heard since is how she's not sleeping because it's too cold, or too hot, or too hungry, or she's overfed. Thanks, MIL. i'm reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution", but we're already doing most of the things it suggests, so i'm at a loss. i keep hoping she'll improve with age. Honestly i really feel the biggest culprit is my old arch-nemesis reflux; that since she can't get enough to eat during the day, she gets hungry at night. Which makes me pretty crabby on days like this when she doesn't eat at daycare. i should have just kept her home instead of working on my stupid sewing project and attempting (and failing at) a nap for myself. i just know i'm not 100% up to full health because my patience is lacking.

At any rate, it's been some better since we moved the crib back upstairs, but last night she still woke 3 times for food. We'll see about tonight. Bleh. Crabby me will just wait for the world's sweetest baby to wake from her nap.

Wow, she's getting close!

Yesterday D took her first unassisted step. She was going from the bedside table to the bed (where DH was), and rather than take some sideways steps to get there, she let go while taking a step toward the bed, and she nailed it with more aplomb than any Olympic figure skater :).

And today, her nine monthday, she started REALLY letting go of the furniture to stand for up to 10 seconds by herself, intentionally. Previously she would drop as soon as she realized she was standing unassisted, and i would sometimes try to "fool" her lol, but today she's doing it for fun. She even clapped while doing so one time.

i think she'll be walking before the month is out. i'm thrilled and scared bothatonce.

This week

i'm still doing really well post-op. i have popped 2 of my 4 stitches, though, so there's some minor pain there. i'm annoyed that apparently i'm NOT allowed to W@H while on disability, and i haven't heard from my doctor despite having called him on Thursday. The disability management people said they can't release me to work unless the doctor personally sees me, so that sucks since my appointment isn't until March 13.

Life with the MIL has been more pleasant than i imagined. Of course, there have been the annoying comments about how she should be STTN by now, shouldn't need to eat at night, should eat only every 4 hours and no sooner, and if she ate more solid food right before bed, she'd sleep. Etc etc etc. It hasn't helped that we moved the crib to our room so that she could have her own room, and poor D has been up MANY times a night this week. Like 6+ every night :(. Now the crib is in her room and we're hoping that it will help get back to normal, which is still 1-2 wakings per night.

D is most definitely teething now. Today she is just a hot mess. Thankfully Motrin is helping more than Tylenol, and Orajel doesn't hurt, either. Right now she's a lot happier than she was a couple of hours ago. She's also napping a TON today for some reason. And on a solids strike.

Some more things D is doing: She's started standing for several seconds at a time before she plops herself down. She ALMOST took her first step last Sunday, but she fell to one knee so it doesn't count. She waves "hi" (but not "bye-bye" yet). And i swear she's signing for potty. i swear it is so, despite MIL saying, "You're dreaming." But she's been doing this thing that looks like the sign for potty but oh so much more deliberate lol. And when i see it, i say "potty", do the sign for "potty", and of course take her straight to the potty. And every time it's happened (probably 8 or 10 at this point), she's gone to the bathroom. So i'm pretty convinced. And proud :).

Surgery Update

i've never been through a surgery quite like THAT before! It was delayed by about 4 hours. It was scheduled for 12:30 pm, but it was almost 4:30 before they wheeled me out. Apparently the morning's surgery in the same room was taking extra time. A lot of extra time. It took so long i was really getting scared they were going to reschedule.

Anyway, the surgery DID happen, and despite my usual severe nausea and vomiting afterward in Recovery, there were no real problems. They did want to make sure i could pee though (otherwise they'd have to use a catheter and admit me). Actually they DID admit me, and i was in my own room from about 8 until 10 because the nurse didn't tell me i had to pee in the catch cup thing she called a "hat", so i had to drink water and sprite until i could go again. FINALLY i was able to leave at 10 pm, and i'm home now.

The results: The doctor was able to cut out *most* of the endo. He had to leave a few spots where it would have caused excessive bleeding or organ damage to remove them, so that's not great. But hopefully it should slow everything down some. And it sounds like he was able to free up the pretzel that was my left ovary/uterus/bowel, so that should really help the pain!

He also removed my right fallopian tube altogether. He said it was swollen like a balloon and was just creating a very toxic environment, and wasn't doing me any good anyway. So out it came. My right tube looked good, though; "perfect" he said. He apparently assigns four possibilities as far as fertility goes: "Unlikely", "Reasonable", "Likely", and "Very Likely". He said i was in the "Reasonable" category and he "wouldn't be surprised" if i became pregnant. i'm still pretty much not expecting it, and i'm really okay with that. The loss of the one tube really doesn't bother me at all like you might think. It really needed to come out. And having a "good" tube is a real bonus versus what i was expecting. The doctor is going to call me tomorrow, so maybe i'll know more (this is all second-hand info from Alan, who did an awesome job collecting the info though).

So this is probably slightly better results than i'd expected. Slightly disappointing in that all the endo didn't come out (making it very likely to grow back), but still a major improvement and better than anticipated! Yay!

Surgery today

It's not until 12:30 pm Central Time, so i have some time this morning to play with my baby while the house sleeps. Well, one dog is up and eXUBerant this morning, too :).

MIL came last night, and was bowled over by the concept of EC, but when she saw that it works (there was a successful number 1 and a successful number 2 both last night), she just said, "That's amazing!" (And maybe acted like D is the smartest baby in the world lol, but she is so it's okay).

D also ALMOST took her first step yesterday. She let go of me and twist-turned and stepped toward MIL, but she fell to her knee so i guess it doesn't count. But OH she's so close! If she hadn't turned, i know she would have made it! Her other news is that she waved Hi for the first time the other day. So cute! i love love love her wave! And she JUST did it for me again! Squeeeeee!

Okay, so, surgery time. First off, i didn't get sick from D's cold. Hallelujah! So hopefully they will not reschedule and all will go as planned. Or at least i'll have surgery lol. Realistic scenario: He will get *most* of the endo, i will be pain-free or much less pain for much longer than after the previous surgery (only 6 months!!!), but nothing will change for me fertility-wise. i told him that if my tubes don't seem to be causing me pain, don't remove them, but try to repair them. Of course, there's a good chance they could just re-close again within a month, before i could even conceivably conceive. If they appear to be causing pain or are in TERRIBLE shape, just remove them. Which would increase success if we ever tried IVF, but considering we HATE the local IVF clinic and we're thrilled with the direction our family is going through adoption, the chances of doing IVF before i'm too old are pretty slim. Someone's insurance would have to change drastically, i would say.

i probably won't update until tomorrow, if then, because i tend to get pretty knocked out from surgery and anesthesia. My first lap i had surgery on Friday and didn't wake up until Sunday evening. But since i've been fasting for 2 days already, surely hunger will kick in at some point and wake me up lol. i actually had a dream last night about pizza!

Do i see teeth?

i can't tell for sure because she really doesn't enjoy it when i put my fingers in her mouth and try to look at her gums, but i *think* there's a slight change in her gums, like there may be teeth under the surface.

If so, that's great, because she's had such a hard time getting those first two teeth to get through the bone. She's had a few periods of what i assume was "teething" (poor sleep, drooling, putting everything in her mouth, low-grade fever, etc), but after a couple of weeks it stops and there are no teeth or anything to show for it.

Of course, i know it won't be fun as the teeth actually cut in through the gums, but it still seems like an improvement.