So i'm kind of cracking up over the adoption benefits situation at work. First of all, i really didn't think there would be any benefits for our type of adoption. My company offers a $5k reimbursement for adoption-related expenses, but we haven't had any real adoption-related expenses. The state is paying for our attorney, our home study was free, and there won't be any other costs either. Outside of books, parking, time off from work, etc, but those aren't "qualified" expenses, which again is what i was expecting.
It's more the way it all went down that leaves me cracking up. Last week Alan found out that his company offers 3 paid days off for adoption. i know, it's just 3 days, but it's still 3 days, which is better than nothing. He can use one in July and the other 2 another time (July is ratings period, so they're stingy with time off during ratings for obvious reasons). So this is great news!
Like i said, i know my company offers $5k reimbursement for up to 2 adoptions, and the only other benefit i know of is a $75 reimbursement for a car seat (which is an adoption OR birth benefit), but for adoptions you have to buy the carseat within 30 days before the adoption or 45 days after the adoption finalization. Which means that we don't get even that benefit since we had to buy the infant seats over a year ago and the convertible carseats about 6 months ago (well, we didn't HAVE to but with her reflux we thought it might help the constant carseat crying, and she turned 20 pounds months ago so it still wouldn't have worked for us). i have to say that i think that timeframe is ludicrous for any type of adoption because in TN finalization is at least 6 months after the baby is placed in the home. i guess for some it would work for the convertible, but it's still stupid. But at this point i'd rather have 3 paid days off (or ONE lol since i have so little vacation time thanks to someone's court dates and doctor's appointments and sick days) than $75. So no biggie.
But, all that to say that when Alan found out about his 3 days off, i decided to just verify at work that there really aren't any benefits that we'll qualify for. i mean, anything is better than nothing. Weeeelll... First stop at my company is to call the HR "Help" Desk 1-800 number. If anyone remembers the trouble i had getting back to work after i had surgery, you'll see why the idea of calling that number makes me want to cry. But, i bit the bullet, and was not disappointed by the complete ineptitude. Now, the woman was very nice, and very uninformed. She told me to type in "Adoptions" in the search engine and there was all kinds of information. There is; lots and lots of information on how to find an agency, what is a home study, etc. Basic adoption information in article form. Not company adoption benefits. She then told me that "she didn't think" we would qualify for the carseat thing because of the 30/45 days deal, and that she had never heard of a reimbursement benefit. AND then she (stupid me) got my hopes up by saying that if i were to take FMLA, the company reimburses part of the pay. So it's not totally unpaid. She couldn't tell me what percentage, of course. She said "she thought" it was 60% unless you'd worked for the company for 25+ years (because i'm sure a ton of employees are giving birth or adopting at 46+ years of age. But i digress). She told me how to follow links to find the information about FMLA, and, i kid you not, the webiste actually says, "Call the HR Help Desk". Which at one point she was kind of rude to me and said, "Did you look at that website?" and i said, "i did, but did you? Because it just says to call HR." She then tells me that i have to request FMLA (complete with start and end dates, mind you) before i find out how much the company will reimburse me for.
OK, so after that i email a Sr. Manager i know in the Benefits department, asking him whom i can speak with. He tells me to call the HR Help Desk, and i tell him that i did but it was not informative. So he launches an investigation lol. Eventually i get to talk to a real person in person. The bottom line is there are no benefits i didn't know about, there IS the reimbursement, there IS the $75 car seat (which unless we get some sort of exception we will not qualify for), there is FMLA but it's completely unpaid. Which, again, is actually fine. But it shouldn't have taken a good chunk of a week and several false leads to find out lol.
The BAD news and what i actually think is completely ludicrous -- if it's true... As i said, the $5000 reimbursement is for up to 2 adoptions. i think they did this in 2007 when they did away with IVF coverage (they used to cover 2 IVF attempts or 2 adoptions or 1 of each, now it's just 2 adoptions). Fine, no biggie. The car seat benefit is for unlimited children, adopted or bio. So when i was speaking in-person with the HR rep and the subject of other benefits, like life insurance and health insurance and flex spending account for child care, came up, he told me that (he thinks) if we take ANY benefit from car seat to life insurance for D, but we don't submit anything for reimbursement, that it still counts as one adoption. These are benefits that every child is entitled to, whether bio or adopted. So we could have 12 biological kids who each get $75 per car seat and who each get optional life insurance and who each can be put on our health insurance plan, and then we could adopt children number 13 and 14 and get those benefits plus the $5k reimbursement each. But if we adopt D and take these same benefits that she's entitled to regardless of how she enters our family permanently, we cannot get the $5k for 2 more adoptions, only 1 more.
Now, it's probably a "moo" point anyway because chances are we will not adopt 2 more children through the type of adoption that costs money, or i won't work for the same company at the time, etc etc, but it's still pretty silly, no? What Alan and i have discussed loosely at this point is being available forever for any more of D's biological siblings who could be born at some point in the future, which could happen tomorrow or in 10 years or never. We're not preventing pregnancy but we know those chances are slim. And if D is still any only child at somewhere around 3 or 4 years old, we'll start the Domestic Adoption process to adopt a sibling for her. But chances are we won't adopt domestically more than once due to cost, time, etc. BUT i've been around adoption forums and such long enough to see several situations where adoptive parents have been faced with the possibility of adopting a full or half sibling to their child, and it happens in domestic adoption situations as well as foster/adopt. And, if that happened, we'd probably try to make it happen just like we would with a foster/adopt sibling of D's. And i would HATE to think that one of the factors in making that hypothetical decision that we'll probably never be faced with is this stupid policy at my company.
Anyway, thought you might enjoy my fun with HR lately.
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Yeah, my company just advertized a "great benefit" and offers free car seats for those born or adopted. I wrote back and inquired if I could get a seat since I was going to foster and TPR had not occured. The HR person said that question had never come up before. But she found an answer: I could get the free car seat once I adopted. Um, great, thanks but no. Actually, I might get the new seats if my old ones are run down by that point. Or if not, I may get them anyway and offer them to the county to give to a deserving foster couple who did not have car seats already. I just don't think that most HR departments get it.
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