Museum Pictures

i was having computer problems yesterday and didn't type any words, sorry. Mostly i was having patience problems.

Alan and i are on a trip (right now i'm on the little sofa in the hotel room whilee sleeps; slept probably 11 hours and it's so cool we can both sleep in!). Charlotte spent the night with my sister last night. Alan and i will go get breakfast (or lunch, depending on when he wakes up lol) and then get her and go home.

We live in Nashville and we're in Knoxville now, so only a couple of hours and only for the one night, but it's a good way to get our feet wet since we've never left Char overnight before.

Anyway, these pictures are from the Children's Museum in Oak Ridge, TN, "the Secret City" aka the "Atomic City". The museum is nothing to write home about, especially with a toddler who doesn't give you time to read the writing. Much of it was about life in the Secret City in the 40's and beyond, which wasn't especially good for her to learn, but she loved the part at the beginning that had artifacts from different cultures.

They said "everything is hands on unless it's roped in or glassed off", so we let her go!

Lookie! A giant African xylophone! She sure knew just what to do with it, too!

Check back with this post as i'll probably be adding more pics as my patience improves. We also went to the National Museum of Science and Energy, and i'll post a special post for it.

"Bob Bob" Revisited

Who remembers that a few months ago Charlotte started calling Alan "Bob"? She was consistent for a good while, too. Today she explained who "Bob Bob" is...

Please ignore that hideous green bruise on her forehead. We had some "family" photos this weekend and she had to fall and hit herhead first. It's a law, naturally.

Talking

Charlotte continues to astound me every day. About a week or two ago she dragged my woven wrap to me and said "sigh ow" which i interpret as "outside". (Ha! Take that, mother-in-law! Tell ME she doesn't love being worn lol. The stroller has NEVER been dragged anywhere.)

This weekend she started saying 2 word phrases, "Go up", "go out", etc. Amazing! i don't know when this is supposed to happen, but clearly she's a genius :).

Mommy wars

i think i'm losing at the mommy wars. Last night i met for dinner with the other women from Char's school who have volunteered to help design and build the playground at the new school. It's a Montessori school, so the families tend to be a little on the crunchy side. Two women had their toddlers (14-16 months) with them, and of coure i had Char. And those two women are still nursing, which i totally support. That's one of the very few things i feel like i'm missing out on by growing our family through adoption versus biology.

Anyway, at one poing Char was in my lap and pulled my shirt up. i joked that she shouldn't flash everyone. Then one of the nursing moms asked if we nurse. i said, "No, she was adopted." Please! What is wrong with me that i felt like i had to justify why i am not still nursing her? Of course there wasn't the slightest bit of judgment in what she asked or how she asked it. She just thought Char might be asking to nurse by pulling my shirt up. But there's something totally wrong with me feeling the need to justify why i don't nurse.

i'd like to say it's because 2 women said something negative about me bottle-feeding in public when she was very young (until they found out i was her foster mom and suddenly i was their hero), but really i think it's all part of apologitis. i have chronic and severe case of it. i've been known to apologize when someone else came late to a meeting.

i'm so going to lose the mommy wars lol.

Some very cute Charlotte-isms

1. (Mommy points to a picture of a cow) "What is this?" "Cat." "No, it's a cow. Here's a picture of a cat." (Mommy points to a picture of a cat). "What does a cat say?" "Moo." Hmmm...

2. Char has started singing the Alphabet Song (in tune), mostly just humming or babbling, but putting the correct letters in the correct places in a few spots. Today she said, "H-I-J-K-yesterday." She's a genius! Yesterday rhymes with K where L-M-N-O-P certainly does not ;). Who knew she even knows the word yesterday, but it seemed clear as a bell!

3. And this may be the funniest of them all. i got a picture message from Alan yesterday. Apparently i left the baby lock off my bathroom cabinet and she got in it on the way to the potty and grabbed something. Alan didn't notice what it was until she was seated and doing her business. He sent me the picture with the caption, "Sure, it's funny NOW."

P.S. i always swore i'd never post a picture of my kid on the toilet on the internet, but i mean, really, how could i not?

Let's Talk Poop!

It's been a while since i've AW'd Char and her EC'ing. Mostly because there hasn't been much to brag about. Charlotte started signing for "potty" about 8 months, but that only lasted about a month. From 9-12 months or so it felt like we were just coasting along, same-old-same-old, you know? She would grunt when she had to poop, and i would take her to the potty. Off times i would take her to pee, and she would often go, but there was no signal at all that she would go before she actually did. And we had more poop misses, too, as she sometimes wouldn't grunt at all, or only after she'd started pooping and then it's just easier to change a poopy diaper. Also, the more fully solid foods she was eating, the more often she would go. From 1-2 times a day it became more like 5. Eek!

Then around a year old, she figured out that if she grunted, i stopped what i was doing. And yes, i took her to the potty, but she figured out that if there was something she didn't want to do, she could get out of it by grunting. Nice. Like, meal times. Fingernail trimming times. When mommy isn't giving me all her attention and is, say, making my lunch for tomorrow.

So, we took a little bit of a potty vacation for a while. If she had the poop look in addition to grunting, we still went, but we didn't go every time. And eventually i found that she was usually wet right after "fake" grunting. And a few times i noticed it after i'd recently done i dipe check and she wasn't wet. And sometimes the diaper would feel warm, as if the pee had JUST come out of her warm bladder. So we ended the potty vacation.

And now it seems like she's "telling" me again that she needs to go. Primitive, yes, but still cute. She will go up to the baby gate and shake it and grunt. Or grunt then run to the baby gate and shake it. So i say, "Do you want to potty?" and she runs right to the potty (if she doesn't get distracted by her love of the stairs).

And lately, more and more, she's making it to the potty before she's either peed or pooped, and going on the potty. Now, if i had it to do all over again, i never would have allowed/encouraged the grunt to be her "cue". Sigh. But, live and learn and keep repeating the word "potty" lol.

So, i'm still in the position of really not having a clue what to do now, potty-learning-wise. At this point, she can apparently tell me she needs to go (at least some of the time, not all of the time for sure). And she can go to the potty even. But she cannot manage to pull her pants down or her diaper off by herself. And we're still using the donut insert in the regular potty instead of a little portable potty. If i have to place a wild guess, i'd say she'll be using panties or at least training diapers (we're going to use cloth instead of Pull-Ups if i have my way) within maybe 4 more months. But i'm not sure. Language-wise i think she's on target in expressive language but not ahead, and i do wonder if she's a little behind in receptive language (but she could just be a little... well, whatever the euphemism for stubborn is this week). i'm not worried about it, but if that is the case then i'm not sure she'll be ready language-wise at that point. Anyway, tips from BTDT EC'ers much appreciated.

2 things

First of all: I GOT A NEW JOB!!! It's with the same company and a lateral move, but it's at a different location which has a WAY better culture and environment. It should provide me with a bit more exposure to other groups so when the time comes to move on again, i'll be in a better position to do so. And most importantly, i LOVE LOVE LOVE my new boss and also my new coworker. i mean, so far anyway :). Who knows how i'll feel in a few months, but if he's anything like i think he is... i did see him criticize (sort of) my new coworker and i actually really liked how he did it. It was lighthearted and not even out of place in the environment.

It's crazy because Wednesday i woke feeling pretty down, because it was exactly 1 month since i applied for this latest job and it was apparent that they weren't going to interview me. This was the fourth position i'd applied for since April 1, so that should tell you something lol. Then late morning, i got an email from the HR recruiter that said they were going to set up an interview, and within 48 hours i knew i had the job. Crazy! Obviously i ran out and bought a suit at lunch, and Thursday i interviewed, and this morning i got the offer. No pay increase, but considering i have a shot at a REAL performance review, i think it's still a financial boost. i'm sure i'll discuss later.

Now for the story. It's been a while since i've told a story about a stupid or insensitive infertility or adoption story. i had hoped it would be able to be put behind us by now, but alas.

i have this "friend" who i'm not really close with but she's been a good friend in a lot of ways. She's the kind of person you can go months without talking to and if you need help, she'll pitch in. And vice versa. She's kind of crass (she texts during movies; we don't do movies together anymore lol) and obnoxious, but also loyal to the core.

i hadn't talked to her much in a while and she texted me on Sunday inviting Alan and me to meet for brunch at a restaurant near our house. We were able to do so, and conversation turned to the adoption. She asked if people say Charlotte looks like us, and i said, "All the time. Seriously!" (Just the previous day our waitress at a restaurant said, "She looks exactly like both of you." We just smiled and said, "Thank you." But it seriously happens constantly.)

At this point, my friend says, "Yeah, you did it the easy way." i say, somewhat shocked, "The easy way?" "Yeah, you didn't have to deal with morning sickness or anything." Now, to be fair, my friend had a really hard pregnancy with her daughter, developed dangerous blood clots in her legs, was on bedrest a long time, and was warned never to get pregnant again. She was considering adoption but in the "Yeah, someday maybe we'll adopt" way and not in the *really* considering adoption way. But what i wanted to say was, "Yes, you're right, it was so easy to deal with 3 1/2 years of infertility -- so far -- a debilitating chronic illness, 3 surgeries, excrutiating pain, a 2 year adoption process including a time when we thought we were going to lose her and a year of never knowing for sure if it would be official, caseworkers, and continuing education. It would be awful to vomit for 3 or 4 months and gain a few pounds." But i didn't. i just rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, nothing hard about this process."