A little bit evil

i feel a little bit naughty. i made up a onesie yesterday for D, and then i decided to make some to sell in my Etsy shop. ::Makes evil laugh sound and twirls imaginary handlebar mustache::

Seriously, people, i am so sick of everyone from parents, in-laws, coworkers, "friends", and even total strangers offering advice. My dad once told me THREE times in one visit that i was going to "kill" that baby. No, dad, really, you're *supposed* to firmly but gently pat the baby's back when burping her. Rubbing alone does *not* do it for all babies. And, really, it's okay to let her work out her neck muscles in a controlled and safe manner. Sheesh!

Another court update

Yay! Court went exactly as we hoped!

First, they were running behind... well, okay, that part isn't one we planned, but i digress... It was in the same courtroom, same magistrate as the last hearing, so that was pleasant since we really liked him. The birthparents didn't come this time, either (which is both a smiley face and a frowney face if you know what i mean), but i guess that was expected.

First came the trial for the neglect charges. It was just like a "real" trial (well, obviously, it was a real one), but they had a witness stand, cross-examination, the works. Very neat to witness. The sad revelation is that they didn't name D until right before she was released from the hospital (darn, couldn't they have just not named her, and maybe we could have?), so all her medical paperwork says B. G. Lastname (Baby Girl). The birthmom apparently never saw D except right before they checked out either. Originally the birthmom asked for outpatient rehab, but then she had "things to do" and declined. We learned the name of either the oldest half-sister or her family member, so we can maybe do a search later, so that was good. We also learned the name of D's father's brother, whom the birthdad asked to get custody but he has charges, so they couldn't place with him. That's all the news i can think of right now.

Then came the hearing for the permanency plan. As expected, they are going with a sole goal of Adoption. Which means the original perm plan has been magic markered over in great degree lol.

We spent the majority of the time trying to hear what was going on over D. She's a very noisy breather. She sounds congested (yes, we use the blue thingie), wheezy, etc. i think it's because she has reflux. Anyway, we kept trying to find her a position where she could breathe without making so much noise, to no avail. It was so bad the DCS workers in front of us kept turning around and looking (and laughing lol). D's poor attorney (Guardian Ad Litem or GAL) was next to us and at one point, when the judge asked if he agreed with the permanency goal, he said, "i'm sorry, Your Honor, i didn't hear some of that. Did they say _______ [legalese for adoption]? If so, i support that goal." And then, at the very end, the judge asked us if there were any health concerns with the child, and i said, "She has reflux, Your Honor." He said, "NO!" Everyone in the court room cracked up.

In the end, the perm goal of adoption was approved, and DCS has until October 15th to file the petition for Termination of Parental Rights. Once that's filed, there are a few steps before the actual TPR trial, including to publish in the newspaper for a month. So we're probably looking at a trial date at the earliest of late November, more likely sometime in December. After that, assuming the trial happens and TPR is granted, the birthparents will have 30 days to appeal. If they don't appeal, the order of TPR is entered into court record, and we will then be able to file the petition to adopt her. Then we have to get a court date (and i've already been advised NOT to try to finalize in Nashville because they only do so many adoptions a month whereas the neighboring counties do them every weekday), so we're probably looking at sometime between February and April to actually finalize the adoption. Which is actually lightning-fast for a DCS case.

And, last but certainly not least, D is 2 months old today! Yay!!!!!!!!! Maybe someday i'll be able to share pictures lol. Alan took some awesome ones yesterday.

STTN!

D slept through the night for the first time last night! i put her down around 7 and she slept until 3 am! Go D!

The big meeting

The big meeting in which we got to meet D's brother T's adopters happened today. We absolutely LOVE them! They are really nice people and were uber-friendly right from the get-go, which helped us get over our nerves and fears. They had said they would take D when they thought she was still in the hospital, but when they found out she was in a good pre-adoptive home with parents who are in love with her, they felt a little relieved. i find it hard to believe, but she claims to be 44, is running after a very active toddler, and homeschooling a 10 year old (as well as she has a 20-something year old daughter also). So NOT taking in a newborn was actually a bit of a relief, although they would have taken her and been happy (know what i mean?).

We learned some things about the birthfamily. First, we learned that the birthmom and -dad are nice-hearted people. They apparently cried and cried about T's situation. They love him (and presumably D) a lot, but their circumstances are just really sad and hopeless. Apparently -mom is on a lot of drugs (that much is obvious), but that she's very proud that she never drank. Which, in light of the other stuff she was doing, doesn't sound like much, but actually about the worst possible drug you can put in your body while pregnant is alcohol. At least for the long haul. So this is actually very, very good news (if it's completely true).

Also, T has blonde hair (very cute, wispy, somewhat long blonde hair) and blue eyes, and a dark complexion. He looks like he's got a great suntan, but actually it's the natural skin tone. Bmom is dark and bdad is light, and it looks like the kids are inheriting some of each.

OK i've been working on this post for over 3 hours, but things keep interrupting me, so i'll leave it here for now. But YAYAYAYAYAY!!!
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Very, very nervous

Seriously, you guys, tomorrow feels like the world's most important and nerve-wracking job interview. If you don't recall or haven't been keeping up, tomorrow is the next big permanency meeting at DCS, and it's when we meet the people who adopted D's older bio brother.

Our fate is largely in their hands. Anything can happen, and nothing is set in stone until the judge carves it there, but everyone agrees that the chance of the birthparents getting D back are about nil. Even the birthparents seem to agree as they haven't even contacted DCS once. The relatives are the same as they were for the last case (D's brother T), so the chances of them getting custody of D are slim too. It's virtually a given that D will become available for adoption. It may not happen this month, or even in 2009, but it's almost certain.

The real question is: "Who will adopt D?" The frontrunners are ourselves and T's adopters. Actually put that in reverse order. So if T's parents want to adopt D, they have a very very good chance of that happening. Otherwise, we will probably be able to adopt her.

As you know, gentle readers, T's parents first showed interest in adopting her, and then the most recent thing is that they are "leaning against" adopting her. But that could change at any point, and in particular if they don't like us, or if they don't see us as good parents. Hopefully that won't happen, but it is still scary.

Pray for us PLEASE!

i just want to say

i LOVE my husband! He is the bestest daddy in the world for D.

We've been having some minor (i think) issues adjusting to daycare this week. Mostly with eating and sleeping (HA! What else does a not-yet-2-month-old infant do?). First, D eats more at daycare and they don't get her more or an extra bottle. Second, she has trouble napping at daycare and comes home overtired, and that's no fun for anyone. It'll get worked out.

The other issue is they want D in place by 9:30 am. Alan doesn't have to leave for work until 12:30, so that kind of sucks. But today he stayed from 9:30 to 11:30 to get her settled. 2 hours! i'd like to think D is lucky to have "us" (though i know really we're the lucky ones), but if she's lucky, it's all because of him.

And to top it off, he did laundry and dishes every day this week, too!

Happy happy happy!!!!!!!!!!!1

Alan and i were just speaking on the phone when my call waiting beeped. i clicked over and it was D's caseworker. Guess what?!? As of right now, the woman who adopted D's brother T is stepping back under the condition/assumption that we will help keep D and T close so they can have a relationship. Which i probably don't have to tell you is EXACTLY what we've been praying for! We would really love to have an extended family type relationship with T and his family.

Of course, it's still very early and a LOT could change, so keep the prayers coming, but oh my gosh i am so happy right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!